Life after divorce

Life after divorce, whether by choice or not, can be difficult to come to terms with

Life after divorce

Life after divorce, whether by choice or not, can be difficult to come to terms with, but relationship expert Jo Lamble has some wise words for YOURLifeChoices member Joan, who wants to kick-start her new life.

Q. Joan
I’m 55 and my divorce has just gone through. I thought it would be the start of a new life – but I have no life! What can I do to start living and not waste the next 20 years?

A. Provided by Jo Lamble
You’re right – it’s time to start living.  But it’s important to be realistic. It might take a while to develop a new life. You might try a number of things before you find your passion. The trick is to be open to all opportunities. Accept all invitations. Consider any idea – no matter how far fetched. What have you been putting off for years? What were you unable to do in the past? Scan the newspapers and internet for inspiration. An advertisement for a trip or a class or a lecture may well lead to new horizons.  Who knows who you could meet when you step outside your comfort zone and try something new?


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    6th Mar 2013
    I suggest that you look at joining some interest groups in your area to go on outings with like minded people. There are groups for photography, walking, gardening, native plants, wood work, bush walking, all arts and crafts, lapidary clubs. The world is your oyster. I would advise against going straight to the dating scene, that can wait till you find your feet. You are independent, embrace it. U3A is incredible for meeting new people, there is even an online site. Just Google U3A and your town or city. My local group has over 90 different classes. Above all, enjoy your new life. :-)

    6th Mar 2013
    Initially, going back to church worked for me. People I met there and volunteering for tea duty followed by joining U3A were the beginnings of a new life for me. I have never had so many friends before and my life and interests appear to have no boundaries. I now have a very busy social life and it's lovely!
    7th Mar 2013
    Pip : I love your pussy-cat! Staying at home with a beloved pet (or two or three) is
    8th Mar 2013
    Thanks biddi, 14yo Hunniebear is a lovely companion, loves to be where I am.. like at the moment she is sitting on the dining chair next to me with her head against my thigh; so I sure do agree with you!
    14th Apr 2013
    I was same age when my divorce went through. Very painful after almost 35 years. I had commenced studying Theology and continued to do this for a few more years. The Bible is incredibly interesting. At same time I discovered I could write poetry! So joined a Poet's Group (mostly my age). I did do an Aged Care Cert 111 Course at TAFE so did some aged care nursing for a spell part time and then did elderly care companion work also part time until late 2011.(Very rewarding)I joined Toastmasters Group in 2007 and still going fortnightly.I was still doing Theology studies up until 2010 part time but gave up due to some family issues. When they are small they have little problems when older they have bigger probs,Wish they had gone to their dad!!That has settled down. I am on a Home Assist Maintenance( for oldies committee) (& now a recipient) also an interest in Inside/Out Chaplaincy as a supporter of Prison Chaplains.There is so much out there.I go backpacking and travel overseas from time to time. My life is one of great independence No one else in my life -often I would like a partner to share my interests but would he be able to keep up with me!!Look aroun d go to theatres, movies, museums, art exhibitions, bus trips etc etc.And, yes, I often feel regrets that my marriage did finish after so long and three children now adults living their lives.And I often feel that pain . it lingers, However, it does not stall me - Whoops, I joined an oldies gym last year and go to aquaerobics and do weights three times a week (early mornings) Nearly forgot to add this.(During those worse years I occasionally took in overseas students, from China ,Korea, Japan,Taiwan just for short term visits 7-10 days - Had so much fun with them assisting with English showing them Aussie culture I stopped doing this in 2011 also)So keep busy is my motto. Live life!!

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