When you’re on a diet and your spouse isn’t supportive

Sonia wants to lose weight, but her husband’s comments are wearing her down.

Love me, love my weight

Jo Lamble is a Clinical Psychologist who has been in private practice for over 25 years. She sees individuals, couples, and groups and specialises in parenting and relationship issues. Jo has been a regular contributor on Channel 7’s Sunrise and is the resident psychologist for the online magazine The Carousel.

Sonia is in her 60s and is gaining some weight. Though she is trying to lose that weight, her husband’s negative comments about her weight are simply not helping. She has asked YourLifeChoices relationship expert Jo Lamble for advice on how to deal with this situation. 


Q. Sonia
I’m in my 60s and starting to struggle to keep my weight under control. My husband’s comments are getting to me. Can I whack him?

A. Would it be wrong of me to say: Yes, you can whack him? Because if he is making comments about your weight, that’s not fair. It can be really hard to keep our weight under control as we get older because we start to slow down a bit and so does our metabolism. The experts tell us that we simply need to eat less but like any advice (including mine) that can be easier said than done. When you are trying to manage your weight, it’s important to surround yourself with supportive people. That’s one reason why your husband’s comments won’t help. 

Ask him for his support. Tell him that his comments are getting to you. Remind him that as you grow old together there will be more health issues to be faced for both of you. Talk to him about how he can help instead of hindering. For example, reassuring you that he loves you, no matter what shape you’re in is a good start. Offering to go for walks with you and suggesting other ways to exercise together will make you feel like he is on your side. 

Agreeing to assess what you’re both eating and how much you’re eating can make you feel less like the one with the problem. Reducing proportions and making small changes to what you eat and drink will most likely benefit him as much as you. If you haven’t already done so, it might be worth seeing a dietician as they have all sorts of tricks that can help, including learning how to improve the quality of what we’re eating and the timing of when we eat.

If you have a question for Jo Lamble, please send it to newsletters@yourlifechoices.com.au



    To make a comment, please register or login
    28th Mar 2018
    Apart from the 'whack him' bit, I think the ol' gal should get some credit for trying. Miserable is the guy whose comments get the 'Love my fat or leave!' retort.
    28th Mar 2018
    You could just cook boiled eggs and ham for every meal. Very small portions and drag him into bed a half a dozen times a day for exercise until he gives up or you kill him.

    Failing that a very expensive personal trainer, preferable a male would also work. For every mean comment you could give the " But Derek says..." and drive him absolutely crazy.

    Yes a biatch as I believe in support, hate hurtful comments and find revenge best as a dish served very very cold.

    Of course it depends on how much weight you've put on and how supportive you've been and if he has always been mean or not.

    If you genuinely care about him and his needs you shouldn't be having issues.

    Do not whack him. Domestic Violence is a no no.
    23rd Apr 2018
    Love it
    28th Mar 2018
    "Ask him for support" ha ha ha
    Middle aged people gain weight. Embrace it as a part of life because a sign of declining health is weight loss.
    12th Jul 2019
    Happy Wheels - one of the most interactive games and the most played online free web browser based game of all time. There is a dark and tricky physics-based puzzling arcade game is fun for some and horrifying for others.

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