While it’s not uncommon to have woken up with the odd hickey or groin pull after a bit of rough and tumble, there are some sex injuries that are a bit more serious than a couple of bruised knees.
Here are the most common sex ‘accidents’ and how to treat them.
Where did that go?
In a report from the US, sex toy injuries have doubled since 2007. Another study found that vibrators were involved in 74 per cent of injuries. Most of these injuries involve sex toys and ‘assistants’ being stuck and non-retractable. Even rings make this list, with two per cent of reported injuries.
Treatment: If you can’t retract the missing item, wait a while until you’re more relaxed, then try again. Otherwise, head to your local healthcare provider.
It’s every man’s worst nightmare. Fractured penises are more common than you may think. It occurs when the penile corpora buckles and pops and it is extremely painful. Just ask Steve (yes, I know a guy to whom this happened). Penile fractures are more likely to occur when the woman is on top, so take care when in this position.
Treatment: Whatever you do, do not put ice on it! Head straight to the hospital – there’s nothing you can do to fix this broken ‘bone’.
Vaginal tears and torn frenulum
Vaginal tears are mostly caused by not enough lubrication and too much friction – same goes for a torn frenulum (the ridge of skin from the foreskin to the head of the penis). While younger lovers are prone to tears caused by rough sex, older couples are especially vulnerable to the same injuries due to a lack of lubrication produced before lovemaking or during masturbation. The result can cause heavy bleeding and, due to the sensitive nature of erogenous tissue, can be quite painful.
Treatment: Tears can heal quite quickly, but if bleeding or irritation continues, see your doctor or gynaecologist.
Slips, sprains, breaks and dislocations
From not enough lubrication to a little too much – slippery surfaces and sex can also be a dangerous combination. Sex in the shower can be fun and sensual, but also catastrophic, as can the use of too much lubricant. Sprains, strains, dislocation and fractures are a common occurrence when slippery surfaces come into play.
Treatment: Try not to use too much lube or keep soap out of shower play. If you slip, check for the severity of the injury. If you think it can be bandaged, then do so. Otherwise, best visit your GP at your earliest possible convenience.
Pulled muscles and torn ligaments
When you were young and limber diving straight into sex was no problem. Nowadays, it may pay to do some light stretching before you roll in the hay. When you think about it, sex is quite the acrobatic act and often more strenuous than your usual exercise – if indeed, you even exercise. That combined with the positions into which you put your body for sustained periods, and you can see why torn ligaments, muscles strains and pulls are a regular occurrence. Often, too, you won’t notice it when it happens, as your body is flooded with endorphins at the time, but when you cool down, you’ll realise the extent of the injury.
Treatment: Take painkillers for pain (but only as directed) and see your doctor.
The athleticism required for sex can also lead to muscle cramps and spasms, which, although not as painful as tears and strains, can still put a kink in your ‘kink’.
Treatment: Move around and take an anti-inflammatory, but make sure it doesn’t interact with any other medication you might be taking.
Broken fingers and strained wrists
Spending too much time propping yourself up in one position can also lead to bent or broken fingers, or serious wrist strains.
Treatment: If it can be bandaged and is not too painful, then wrap it up, but see your doctor asap.
Getting cosy in front of the fireplace can sometimes heat up to a full-blown romp, which can quickly lead to carpet burn on knees, buttocks and elbows. It’s not a serious injury, but it can hurt like hell.
Treatment: Wash the affected area and wrap in a bandage or Band-aid.
Easily the most serious sex injury is a heart attack, which happens more often than you think, especially to those with a low level of fitness, or those with a history of heart or cardiac trouble. If you notice tightness or pressure in the chest or sudden loss of breath, nausea or dizziness, you should quickly postpone your session and live to love another day.
Treatment: See your doctor as soon as possible.
While sex is certainly fun and rewarding, it’s important to keep in mind the physical nature of the act and safeguard against any injuries that can be caused during copulation.
Have you ever injured yourself during sex? How do you safeguard against sex accidents?
Disclaimer: This article contains general information about health issues and is not advice. For health advice, consult your medical practitioner.