Unrequited love

Jude remained close with her best friend’s husband after her best friend passed away two years ago. Should she reveal the extent of her feelings by telling him she loves him?

Q. Jude
I’ve been in love with my friend’s husband from the day we all met, but the two of them hit it off and soon became a couple. I have never married and have always been part of their family. My friend sadly died two years ago and her husband and I have remained close. Should I tell him how I feel? I’m worried his family would react badly if they knew how I felt.

A. Unrequited love is so difficult. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been to be part of this couple’s family given how you feel about your friend’s husband. Obviously everyone is still grieving the loss of your friend, including you. I’d advise you to take things very slowly. Two years is not a long time when it comes to grief. You can remain close to this man and see what develops over time. He will no doubt love having you around and companionship is often a wonderful basis on which to build an intimate relationship. Telling him too early that you have always loved him may overwhelm him and could certainly upset his family. If your relationship deepens over time, you can tell him down the track – when he is stronger. That way, the truth will be a nice surprise rather than something that is too much to deal with.

Written by Jo Lamble