In an era where gender equality and personal identity are at the forefront of societal discussions, the tradition of women taking their husband’s surname after marriage is increasingly being scrutinised.
For many women over 50, this practice may seem like a natural step in the journey of marriage, but for the younger generation, it’s a topic that’s currently sparking debate and reflection.
Kerry, a 27-year-old woman, found herself at a crossroads when the subject of surnames arose with her partner. She said her desire to retain her surname was met with resistance, leading her to question their compatibility.
Kerry’s stance is that the expectation for women to adopt their partner’s surname is ‘a bit stone age.’ For her, a surname is not just a label but a symbol of family heritage and personal history.
‘I feel like I’ve really built up my family bond—we’ve gone through so much, and I just really want to have pride in that,’ Kerry explains.
She adds, ‘If I have kids one day, it feels weird to me to just completely give up [my surname].’
The roots of this tradition are deeply entrenched in history, with origins in English law where women had no legal identity separate from their husbands or fathers. This practice was not unique to England; it was widespread across Europe and North America.
However, the feminist movements of the 20th century, particularly the second-wave feminism of the 1970s, saw a shift in attitudes as more educated women in the US began to keep their maiden names.
Despite these changes, the 1990s witnessed a resurgence of traditional values, with more women once again taking their husband’s name. Today, the conversation continues, with data suggesting that the majority of women in countries like Australia, the US, and the UK still adopt their husband’s surname after marriage.
According to a 2016 statement by associate professor Yvonne Corcoran-Nantes from Flinders University, over 80 per cent of Australian women took their husband’s name post-wedding.
Dr Beatrice Alba, a lecturer and researcher at Deakin University, claims there is a potential harm in perpetuating this tradition.

‘The concern is that as long as we believe that these stereotypes are real—and that women and men are fundamentally different and should have different roles just because of their gender—then it’s likely to be problematic in a range of areas that might not be necessarily obvious,’ she explains.
‘A way to really express a strong commitment to gender equality and feminism is for women to actually consciously choose a surname of their choice if they wish to not perpetuate that patriarchal tradition. It’s something men can do as well.’
However, the decision to break from tradition is not without its challenges. Some perceive not taking the husband’s name as a lack of commitment to the relationship. Furthermore, couples who maintain separate surnames face the complex decision of which name their children should carry.
Meanwhile, innovative approaches to this issue are emerging. Take Liz Tripodi’s experience for example. It was her husband who took her surname to honour her late father and to celebrate both of their cultural backgrounds.
‘We’ve made some decisions that fit our family dynamic and keep the culture and the traditions alive from both cultures,’ she said.
Jade, another woman, and her partner decided to create a new surname that represented them as a couple.
‘I don’t really resonate with his last name … and he doesn’t resonate with my last name. We thought: we are quite quirky people, so let’s make up something that really represents us as a couple, as people. So we’ve come up with the last name Strange,’ she told The Feed.
Despite these creative solutions, Dr Alba notes that many women still hold traditional marital ideals dear, such as the expectation for the man to propose and the symbolism of the white wedding dress.
We would love to hear your thoughts, our YourLifeChoices readers. Do you believe this tradition is outdated, or does it hold a special significance for you? Join the conversation in the comments below.
Sometimes changing your name is not just easy, for instance if you own a business that has been operational for several years and you have a large number of customers, the Business Registration, maybe your Sole Trader Registration, Bass Statements, ATO, Bank Accounts, (Business and Private), Home Ownership, name on Title Deed, etc.
And probably a lot more than have come off the top of my head here !!
These were just some of the things that my late wife had to think about when we “got together”