When it comes to wisdom, few voices ring as true—or as hard-earned-as that of Neale Daniher. The Australian Football League (AFL) great, revered for his courage both on and off the field, has become a beacon of hope and resilience in his battle with motor neurone disease (MND).
But in a recent, deeply personal interview, Daniher offered something even more valuable: a masterclass in parenting and living well, drawn from a life lived with purpose, humour, and humility.
If you’re a parent, grandparent, or anyone who’s ever wondered about the genuine keys to raising good humans, Daniher’s words are a must-read. And even if your days of school runs and packed lunches are behind you, his insights on life, love, and legacy will surely strike a chord.
When asked what he’d learned about fatherhood—what he’d nailed and missed—Daniher’s response was as honest as profound.
‘I got plenty of the little things wrong,’ he admitted, ‘but they don’t matter too much if you get the big things right.’
So, what are the ‘big things’? For Daniher and his wife Jan, it was about making sure their four children always felt loved, safe, and cared for. ‘That’s a good start,’ he said, with characteristic understatement.
But it didn’t stop there. Daniher spoke of giving kids a strong moral compass—helping them navigate the world by modelling honesty, responsibility, kindness, and resilience.
‘We modelled a strong work ethic and showed them that effort matters just as much as talent,’ he explained.
‘We instilled the idea that contributing to others—family, community, team—is meaningful.’
Perhaps most importantly, Daniher and Jan tried to model an optimistic mindset that embraces challenge and sees mistakes as opportunities to learn.
‘As you can easily pick up, I use the word “model” because you don’t teach your kids much by telling them—you have to model it yourself.’
The limits of parental influence
In a refreshing twist, Daniher quickly pointed out that parents shouldn’t take all the credit—or the blame—for how their children turn out.
‘Your kids are raised in a village,’ he said, ‘so they have many influences that shape them, good and bad, outside the home. Also, how they turn out is a lot on them.’
Daniher believes children must be responsible for their choices as young adults.
‘If they make the right choices in life, they should take most of the credit. Likewise, if they make bad choices, it’s on them. Parents can only do so much. That is what learning to take responsibility is all about.’
Daniher’s wisdom doesn’t stop at parenting. Throughout the interview, he shared some life philosophies that have guided him through his most brutal battles—many of which he borrowed from others, but made his own through lived experience.
‘If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together,’ he said.
Yet for all his achievements, Daniher shared: ‘Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.’
As he approaches his mid-60s, Daniher finds wisdom in Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: ‘In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.’
A legacy beyond football
Neale Daniher’s impact on Australian sport is undeniable, but his legacy as a campaigner for MND research and as a voice for resilience and hope is perhaps even greater.
His annual ‘Big Freeze’ events have raised millions for research, and his willingness to speak openly about his journey has inspired countless Australians.
What lessons have you learned about parenting, grandparenting, or living well? Do you agree with Daniher’s take on the limits of parental influence? Have you found your own ‘big things’ that matter most?
We’d love to hear your thoughts and stories in the comments below. Let’s keep the conversation going—as Daniher says, life is a team game, and we’re all in it together.
Also read: ‘Enough from me; goodbye’: AFL icon’s final act stuns the football community
