For many, the image of Queen Elizabeth II is one of steadfast composure, a monarch who weathered decades of family drama with a stiff upper lip and a gentle smile.
But behind the palace walls, even the Queen was not immune to worry—especially when it came to her beloved grandson, Prince Harry, and his whirlwind romance with Meghan Markle.
Fresh revelations from acclaimed royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith have peeled back the curtain on the late Queen’s private anxieties, offering a rare glimpse into the emotional turmoil that simmered long before ‘Megxit’ became a household word.
Drawing on candid conversations with Lady Elizabeth Anson, the Queen’s first cousin once removed, Smith’s new insights paint a picture of a family on edge, bracing for a storm they feared was inevitable.
A grandmother’s worry
According to Lady Elizabeth, the Queen was deeply unsettled by Harry’s relationship with Meghan from the outset. ‘We hope but don’t quite think [Meghan] is in love. We think she engineered it all,’ Lady Elizabeth confided to Smith.
The family’s concern was not just about Meghan’s intentions, but also about Harry’s vulnerability. ‘The problem, bless his heart, is that Harry is neither bright nor strong, and she is both.’
It’s a harsh assessment, but one that reportedly echoed through the royal corridors. The Queen, usually so measured, was said to be ‘rattled’ by Harry’s behaviour in the lead-up to the 2018 wedding.
He was described as ‘rude to her for ten minutes’, and blindsided her by asking the Archbishop of Canterbury to officiate the ceremony without prior approval—a breach of royal protocol that left the Queen both hurt and frustrated.
‘Harry seems to think the Queen can do what she wants, but she can’t,’ Lady Elizabeth explained, highlighting the complex web of tradition and hierarchy that even the monarch must navigate. ‘On the religious side, it is the Dean of Windsor’s jurisdiction.’
Early red flags and palace tensions
Even before the wedding bells rang at St George’s Chapel, Meghan’s reputation among palace staff was reportedly on shaky ground.
Nicknamed ‘Me-gain’ behind closed doors, she was accused of diva-like behaviour, including a demand to mask the ‘musty’ scent of the chapel with scented spritzers before the ceremony.
Such requests, while perhaps minor in the grand scheme, were seen as breaches of royal etiquette and fuelled whispers of discord.
Lady Elizabeth’s mistrust of Meghan only deepened as the wedding approached. She cited Meghan’s secrecy about her wedding dress as a source of unease for the Queen, who was unsettled by the lack of transparency during a pre-wedding tea.
When asked if Meghan was bossy, Lady Elizabeth replied, ‘Very much so.’
The fallout: A family divided
As the months and years rolled on, the rift between the Sussexes and the rest of the royal family only widened.
The infamous Oprah interview and Harry’s tell-all memoir, Spare, seemed to confirm the worst fears of those who had doubted the match from the beginning.
The Queen, who passed away in 2022, did not live to see the full fallout—nor Harry’s legal battles over police protection—but the wounds remain fresh.
Despite recent health challenges faced by King Charles and Princess Kate Middleton, hopes for reconciliation appear dim.
The divide, once a private family matter, has become a very public saga, with each new revelation adding another layer to the royal drama.
Titles, promises, and public perception
One point of ongoing contention is Meghan’s continued use of her royal title in public ventures, such as the launch of her new rosé wine.
This has not gone unnoticed by royal watchers or the family itself despite previous assurances to the Queen that she would refrain from leveraging her royal status for commercial gain.
Neither Buckingham Palace nor the Sussexes have commented on these latest claims, but the silence speaks volumes.
The monarchy, ever conscious of its image, seems content to let the public draw its own conclusions.
A legacy of lessons
For many Australians, the royal family’s tribulations are a source of endless fascination—and perhaps a reminder that even the most privileged families are not immune to heartache, misunderstandings, and the challenges of change.
The Queen’s private fears for Harry may have been rooted in love and a desire to protect, but they also reflect the generational and cultural divides that can test any family.
As we reflect on these new revelations, we invite you to share your thoughts. Do you think the Queen’s concerns were justified? Has the royal family handled the situation as well as they could? And what lessons, if any, can we take from their very public struggles?
Also read: Royal insider spills the ‘sad truth’ for Harry and Meghan’s social media posts
