Imagine spending the price of a new car—or a luxury holiday—just to ensure your next child is a boy or a girl.
For some Australian families, that’s not just a hypothetical. The controversial practice of choosing a baby’s sex, once the stuff of science fiction, is now a reality for those willing to travel overseas and pay tens of thousands of dollars.
But should it be allowed here in Australia? And what are the wider implications for society, families, and the children themselves?
Let’s dive into the debate that’s dividing parents, ethicists, and lawmakers alike.
The rise of ‘family balancing’—and the $45,000 price tag
The issue hit headlines recently when Melbourne influencer Caitlin Bailey revealed she spent around $45,000—including travel expenses—to conceive a baby girl via IVF and pre-implantation genetic testing (PGT) overseas.
Already a mum to three young children, Caitlin said she wanted to ‘balance’ her family and didn’t understand why the option isn’t available in Australia.
‘If we’ve got [technology] that allows us to do this and it’s not hurting anybody, I don’t understand why it’s not an option [in Australia],’ she told The Herald Sun.
She’s not alone. Each year, dozens of Australian families travel to countries such as the US, where non-medical sex selection is legal, to try for a child of their preferred gender.
The process involves creating embryos via IVF, then screening them for their sex chromosomes before implantation.
But while some see it as a harmless way to complete their dream family, others warn it opens a Pandora’s box of ethical, social, and psychological issues.
Why is non-medical sex selection banned in Australia?
Since 2004, Australian law has prohibited choosing a baby’s sex for non-medical reasons.
The only exceptions are cases where there’s a risk of passing on a serious sex-linked genetic disorder, such as haemophilia or muscular dystrophy, which typically affect only males.
In those cases, selecting a female embryo can prevent the disease.
Professor Paula Gerber, a leading human rights and children’s rights lawyer, says the ban is a necessary safeguard.
‘Picking the sex of a child based on ‘preference’ raises several ethical concerns,’ she explains. ‘It reinforces gender stereotypes, and Australia still has serious problems with gender equality, with males being preferred over women. We’re trying to overcome that gender inequality.’
She points to international examples, such as China’s one-child policy, where a strong preference for sons led to a significant gender imbalance, with long-term social consequences, including millions of men unable to find partners.
The ethical minefield: Gender bias, discarded embryos, and family dynamics
The arguments against non-medical sex selection go beyond gender equality. Critics worry about the message it sends to children and society at large.
‘What do you tell your existing child? ‘Oh, look, I’m desperate for another one, but I want to make sure I don’t have another one like you,’’ Prof Gerber asks.
‘And you’re also creating embryos that are then just going to be discarded if they’re not of the sex that you want.’
There’s also the reality that sex isn’t always as simple as XX or XY chromosomes. Children may be born intersex, or may later identify as transgender. ‘Are you not going to love them any less because they are no longer female, they’re now male?’ Prof Gerber asks.
What do Australians think?
Despite the growing number of families seeking sex selection overseas, public opinion in Australia is overwhelmingly against it. Surveys consistently show more than 80 per cent of Australians do not support non-medical sex selection.
The National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) reviewed the issue as recently as 2020 and found no compelling reason to change the guidelines.
The Australian Health Ethics Committee maintains that non-medical sex selection should remain prohibited, citing the risk of reinforcing gender bias and the unknown long-term social impacts.
The case for change: Reproductive autonomy and ‘family balancing’
Of course, not everyone agrees with the ban. Some parents argue that if the technology exists, and it’s safe, they should have the right to use it—especially if it means achieving a ‘balanced’ family after having several children of the same sex.
Others point out that banning the practice in Australia doesn’t stop it—it just pushes families to seek treatment overseas, often at great expense and with less oversight.
There’s also the argument for reproductive autonomy: shouldn’t parents have the right to make decisions about their own families, as long as no one is harmed?
What about the emotional side?
Prof Gerber acknowledges that, in some cases, a parent’s strong preference for a child of a particular sex may stem from deeper emotional or psychological reasons.
Rather than allowing sex selection on that basis, she believes those situations should be met with care and professional support.
‘If you have a mother who feels strongly about wanting a child of a particular sex, then you need to have counselling and conversations with them about that,’ she says.
What’s next for Australia?
For now, the law remains unchanged. Non-medical sex selection is still banned, and the focus is on protecting against gender bias and maintaining ethical safeguards in reproductive medicine. But as technology advances and social attitudes shift, the debate is unlikely to go away.
The bottom line
Choosing your baby’s sex is no longer science fiction—but it’s still a controversial and costly option for Australians. While some see it as a way to complete their family, others warn of the risks to gender equality, family relationships, and society as a whole.
What do you think? Should parents be allowed to choose their baby’s sex for non-medical reasons? Or is the current ban the right approach? Have you or someone you know considered overseas IVF for family balancing? We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
Also read: Not your average babysitter: Why some grandparents are saying no
