Who’s the better fibber: men or women? It’s a debate that’s been whispered over dinner tables, dissected in psychology classes, and even dramatised in hit TV shows like Stan’s Poker Face.
But now, thanks to a real-life ‘human lie detector’, we finally have some answers—and a few surprises along the way.
Meet Steve Van Aperen, Australia’s truth sleuth. He is a Victorian police officer trained in the Los Angeles Police Department, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the United States Secret Service.
He has worked on 89 homicide cases and has become a go-to expert in the science of deception.
While most of us struggle to spot a fib (research says we’re right only 48 per cent of the time—barely better than flipping a coin), he’s made a career out of reading the subtle signals that give liars away.
So, who makes the better liar? According to Van Aperen, the answer is clear: ‘Women make better liars, there’s no doubt about it. There’s clear research on that.’
Women are generally more attuned to body language, reading and using it to their advantage.
He explained, ‘Even when a woman is interested in a man, she’ll bombard him with behavioural cues that subconsciously signify interest. The problem is, often men have no idea.’
But before the blokes start feeling too smug, Van Aperen pointed out that the question of who lies more often is still up for debate.
The real takeaway? Both sexes have their unique strengths and blind spots when it comes to telling porkies.
Many of us think we know the classic signs of a liar: shifty eyes, fidgeting, maybe a nervous cough. But Van Aperen says it’s not that simple.
‘A common misconception is that the same rules and behaviours apply to everyone—like if someone breaks eye contact, they must be lying. But that’s not always the case,’ he said.
Instead, he uses ‘baselining’ or ‘benchmarking’. This means first getting a sense of someone’s normal behaviour, then looking for deviations when the pressure’s on.
‘It’s different for every person,’ he said.
In his decades of experience, Van Aperen has noticed a few recurring red flags: the overuse of filler words like ‘um’ and ‘ah’, the avoidance of personal pronouns, the covering of the face with hands, and a lack of emotion or facial expression.
But don’t be fooled by the so-called ‘body language experts’ who claim to spot a lie from a single paparazzi snap.
Van Aperen recalled being asked to analyse a photo of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie during their rumoured split.
His verdict? ‘It showed me they were looking in two different directions at the time, that’s all.’ Context, he insists, is everything.
The science behind the art of lying
Van Aperen quickly distances himself from the tabloid-style guesswork that often passes for lie detection.
‘I teach intelligence agencies and homicide detectives not about how to act on intuition, but how to use neuroscience and understand behaviour to look for inconsistencies in recollection of events and narratives,’ he explained.
‘There is a lot of science that underpins it. I’m not interested in opinion, I’m interested in fact.’
Of course, not all lies are created equal. He admitted that he struggles to switch off his ‘lie detector’ instincts daily. But he lets them slide when it comes to ‘pro-social’ lies—like pretending to love a gift or claiming you’ve already done the dishes.
‘I look at the intention of the lie. It’s a white lie; nobody is going to get into real trouble for that.’
Interestingly, Van Aperen said these little white lies are actually harder to detect.
‘When the consequences for the lie are greater, the more tells there are from the person.’
If you’re a fan of Poker Face, you’ll be pleased to know that Van Aperen gives the show’s lie-detecting heroine, Charlie Cale, his professional tick of approval. While her abilities might seem superhuman, the science behind them is very real.
Do you think you’re good at spotting a fib? Have you ever caught someone out—or been caught yourself? And do you agree that women make better liars? Share your stories, tips, and thoughts in the comments below.
Also read: What is the ‘glass cliff’ phenomenon – and why do women often find themselves on the precipice?
