Long & The Short: The ice-cream outing that turned nasty

It pays to check if the advertising board is bolted down.

Ice-cream outing turned nasty

Last Sunday, I recounted Phil’s story about when he tied up his young dog, Uki, to an A-frame sign outside his local bakery. When a car backfired, the dog – and the sign – ended up back at his front gate about a kilometre away. He asked YourLifeChoices members if they had had similar experiences. You had.

Rosret wrote: I made that mistake with my dog as well, outside an ice-creamery. However, he ran straight out onto the road between the cars with this massive sign that I thought had been bolted to the footpath. My initial thought was, "Oh no, my dog is going to get run over!" My next thought was a running cash register tally as he dashed between the cars and the sign eventually locked under someone's wheel!

Somehow, the dog was fine, the cars weren't damaged, and we apologised profusely to the very angry shop owner.

I’d had this ridiculous notion that we would all have a lovely treat and my pup would sit quietly like all the other dogs while I placed an order. We were so embarrassed that we didn't even buy any ice creams!

Lesson learnt.

Vinradio wrote: Lulu, my sister's dog – for some unknown reason one day at the beach – decided to swim out to sea, and wouldn't come back. Onlookers were gathering, as my sister frantically called her, to no avail! They even called the lifesavers and asked them to go out in a rescue boat. After about 20 minutes, she turned around and came back. My sister was so relieved, as were all the onlookers.

•••

If you were offered a boat or a racehorse, which would you take?

Jeff asks this after going for his morning walk through Mordialloc.

“I walked along the creek and saw seven boats with ‘For Sale’ signs on them. And they’ve had those signs on them for quite a while.

“Those unloved boats have got to be costing their owners money in mooring fees, registration and insurance.

“Then I saw a couple of race horses being exercised on the beach. They arrived in horse floats and each had a handler, so their exercise wasn’t coming for free.

“Seems like two good ways to waste money, so I’m not sure I’d take either.”

•••

What’s in a name?

The smallest member of the Lake family from Lancefield is called Puddles.

Peter worked for a lazy baggage handler at Ansett so they called him Perry Mason – only worked on one case a week.

And Martin drinks with a chap named Bergs because he’s big enough to sink the Titanic.

•••

Dennis can’t believe how many people these days don’t mow their own lawns and he can’t work out why.

“My neighbours, on both sides, have typical suburban lawns but they pay other people to mow them.

“I do my own. It takes about 20 minutes and I see it as cheap exercise.

“And when I finish, I stand back and think of the money I’ve saved.

“I’ve talked to my neighbours about it and they both said the same thing – they didn’t have time.

“In my view, if they can’t afford 20 minutes every week or two, then they need to reorganise their lives.”

•••

In a similar spirit, Judy bemoans not being married to a man who’s better around the house.

“I asked him to change a tap washer. He couldn’t. I told him the garden tap was leaking. We had to get a plumber.

“The gate was broken. We had to hire a handyman. I wanted a small bit of paving done. We had to find a concreter.

“What’s happened to all the men who have their own tools and know how to operate them?”

Do you have any stories to share with YourLifeChoices? Do you know any interesting characters? Do you have a milestone birthday or anniversary coming up? We’d like to hear from you. Email steve@yourlifechoices.com.au or leave your comments on this article.

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