The problem with liquid nails

A woman walked up to the service counter at her local Bunnings store.

“Excuse me,” she said to the assistant. “I’d like to return this tube of Hard As Nails.”

“What’s wrong with it?” asked the assistant, never before having had somebody return a tube of, what is effectively, a glue.

“I squeezed it out on the table in the shape of nails, but when they dried, I tried to hammer them into wood and they just snapped.”

We kid you not. This really happened – straight from the mouth of an employee.

Trawling the streets

Every time hard rubbish collection week comes around, you hear stories that amuse and bemuse.

For example, there are women who live in fear at this time of year because it means their husbands are trawling the streets after dark looking for items to bring home.

Andrea is one of them. She says her husband is a ‘serial trawler’.

“Last year, it was a complete outdoor setting which we didn’t need.

“Another year, he came home with a dog kennel and we didn’t have a dog.

“We had that kennel for 12 months before we finally got a pet to put in it.”

Tom has a boat trailer on his nature strip because he’s doing work on it and it won’t fit in his driveway.

“I’ve had three people knock on my door and ask if I’m throwing it out. I’ve had to put a sign on it saying ‘Not for free’.

Mower moan
And Alf has some advice – don’t leave your lawn mower unattended on the nature strip.

“I did, while I went to get more petrol from around the back and when I returned, a bloke was loading my mower into his car.”

Crystal clear
We recently asked how many women out there have never changed a car tyre, and we heard from Crystal who has questions for men.

“How many of you men have never changed a nappy, cooked a meal, cleaned a toilet bowl, baked a cake, made a bed, mowed the lawn, drilled a hole in a wall, changed spark plugs, carried out an oil change, vacuumed a floor, sewn a button on, washed the windows, knitted a jumper, written a personal letter, sent a condolence card, cleaned up after someone has been sick, washed a dish, laid the table, used a washing machine, and so on and so on?”

Why bother when you can find someone else to do it for you? Could those questions be directed to the males in Crystal’s life?

Send us …
Do you have a story, anecdote, memory or photo to share with other YourLifeChoices members? Do you know someone with a milestone birthday or anniversary coming up? Email [email protected].

Related articles:
Licence was a one-stop process
How to play the discount game
Walk on the wild side

Written by Perko


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