Son’s focus on writing will upsets mum

Font Size:

Sonia says she knows she cannot put off writing a will any longer but has concerns about making all three children executors, and says her son is making her feel uncomfortable with his questions. She asks psychologist Dr Emmanuella for guidance.

•••

Q. Sonia
I am 78 years old. I know I should have prepared a will long before this, but I’m a head-in-sand type. However, my husband died, and I know I cannot put this off any longer. We have three adult children, but I only want to make two of them executors. I don’t believe my son, who is single and lives near me, is suited to the role. In fact, he has been making me feel uncomfortable by repeatedly telling me to write my will. Should I just avoid family issues by making them all joint executors? Am I being silly?

 

A. Writing a will is not an easy process, and many put it off and procrastinate at the thought of even writing one. Now the reality of it all has been thrown in front of you, and you are forced to do something that isn’t easy in the best of circumstances – with the added pressure from your son. Well done for thinking about it and writing to me to ask how you might go about this.

First, I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. Grief is not time-limited, and it comes in waves. It’s never easy adapting and moving on from the death of a loved one. Please make sure you are looking after yourself and giving yourself time to grieve.

Second, writing a will and assigning executors is never an easy task, so no, you are not being silly. It is best you write a will that you feel most comfortable with, even if that means you don’t make your younger son an executor.

If you feel comfortable, you could write a note explaining your reasons why you decided not to make him an executor and leave it with the will. For the sake of peace, avoid saying anything now because it will only upset him and make things even harder for you.

Dr Emmanuella Murray is a clinical psychologist who has been practising for more than 10 years. She works with children, adolescents, adults and couples, and presents to professionals and community groups.

If you have a question for Dr Emmanuella Murray, please send it to [email protected]

RELATED LINKS

Doctor offers surprise advice on the benefits of slowing down

Jane is scared of slowing down and getting old, but could the opposite be true?

Is love enough to quell fears about the age gap?

‘I love him but I'm not sure I can be his carer in later years.'

Bob’s plea: ‘Ahhh! I just need some me time’

When couples are both finally retired, the extra time together can create issues.



SPONSORED LINKS

Sign-up to the YourLifeChoices Enewsletter

continue reading

Legal & General

Is there a safe way to block estranged child from will?

Can Angie block an estranged daughter from her will without consigning her other children to a drawn-out challenge after her...

Health

How to stop gas pain

It’s normal to have some gas. But if the gas can’t easily get out, you may feel uncomfortable and bloated....

Chicken

Crumbed Chicken Three Ways

Discover how to make crumbed chicken with three different toppings, so you’re never short of a recipe again. Ingredients Main...

COVID-19

Over 50s to receive COVID jab earlier than expected

Australians over the age of 50 could soon receive the AstraZeneca vaccine earlier than expected after the states and territories agreed...

Lifestyle

Signs you order too much stuff online

Online shopping can be a dangerous hobby. A few absent-minded clicks on a lazy Sunday morning can empty your bank...

Food and Recipes

Vegetarian Biryani with a twist

Created by Iraqi chef Dhuha from Eat Offbeat, the New York catering company that employs refugees who have resettled in...

Finance News

Can financial stress lead to physical pain in later years?

The current recession has brought back bad memories of 'the recession we had to have' in 1990 for some, but...

COVID-19

Key to helping the immune system respond best to a COVID jab

How should you prepare for a COVID-19 vaccination? Nine reports that it is a good idea to exercise in the...

LOADING MORE ARTICLE...