Things you'll only know if you're a consistent plant killer

You can’t argue with indoor plants. They brighten up any room, make the air feel fresher, and can even have a calming effect on your mood.

And yet, not everyone quite has the knack for taking care of succulents and spider plants. Perhaps some people – not for lack of trying – just weren’t cut out to be a plant parent.

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If you’re also the plant version of the Grim Reaper, you might relate to some of these thoughts.

1. Getting a new plant fills you with both joy and dread. Sure, it’s beautiful, but how long will it last?

2. You spend hours researching each new variety. By now, you’ve memorised how much water/sunlight/care/love each plant needs. If you’re feeling particularly determined, you’ll even draw up a watering timetable.

Read more: How often should you water outdoor plants as the weather gets cooler?

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3. But even this can’t save you. After a certain point, the leaves start drooping and everything starts to look a bit sad.

4. You try your best to diagnose the problem. You’ve checked every website – maybe it’s overwatered, maybe it’s catching a breeze. This is when you start making frantic adjustments.

5. And you’ve really tried everything – including singing to your plants, because you read somewhere they respond positively to music.

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6. But let’s face it, your plant doesn’t have very long. Sigh. You tried your best, but once again your inner plant killer has reigned supreme.

Read more: Where to see the world’s strangest plants

7. It doesn’t deter you. Of course, you continue to buy colourful and leafy new plants for your home. Maybe next time will be different?

8. Your friends find it hilarious – especially when they catch a glimpse of your latest deceased plant in the background on FaceTime or Zoom.

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9. You hold on for far too long – in vain hope the plant will come back to life. But there comes a point where you just have to get rid of it.

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10. Plants might be uplifting – but dead plants with no leaves certainly are not.

Read more: Are houseplants the new wellness trend?

11. At some point you have to come to terms with the harsh reality – maybe you’re better off with fake plants. After all, they’re pretty realistic nowadays and they’re guaranteed to ‘live’ forever.

Are you a plant killer? What’s your go-to houseplant? Share your failures and successes in the comments section below.

– With PA

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