Walk on the wild side for this dog

Phil tied his young retriever, Uki, to an A-frame advertising sign outside his local bakery while he went inside to buy bread.

“Suddenly there was an almighty crash and bang. Something caused Uki to jump and, with that, he pulled over the sign,” says Phil.

“That really frightened him, so he took off along the shopping strip.

“The harder he ran, the harder the metal sign chased him of course, crashing and banging on the ground as he bounded along the footpath.

“I found him five minutes later in our driveway – thankfully unharmed – sitting terrified and still shaking in front of the side gate, the A-frame sign, somewhat the worse for wear, still attached to his lead.”

Phil says he took the sign back and offered to pay for a new one, but the baker declined the offer, declaring that a dog being chased by a sign was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

•••

We’ve been hearing about people whose ashes have been tossed on to Port Phillip Bay, and there are plenty of them.

Casey, for example, cast the ashes of her aunt, uncle and cousin off the end of Frankston pier. “Just far enough out to give them a reasonable send off,” she says.

And LF wonders if Casey’s family has caught up with her own mother, whose ashes were tipped in at Chelsea.

“And that’s where half of mine are going,” she says, though doesn’t explain where the other half are going. “I wonder just how many peoples’ ashes have been put into Port Phillip Bay.

“Perhaps it’s not global warming that’s causing sea levels to rise!”

•••

Where else are ashes being spread? Ken tells us he spread his father’s on his favourite golf hole.

“He played at the same club for 40 years and he had a favourite hole – the 11th.

“I’m a member at the same club, so I quietly slipped them out of my golf bag and spread them in the middle of the fairway.

“Dad reckoned he could never hit that fairway. Now he sees nothing else.”

•••

On the subject of death, Danny recalls an undertaker in Seymour in the 1950s called Graham Diggle.

The sign on his shop read: “When they cease to wriggle, go to Diggle.”

Diggle apparently had many strings to his bow, because Noel says he had another sign on the shop which read: “Funeral Director, Ironmonger, Timber Merchant.”

Wonder if he made coffins?

•••

Jeff hates getting his hair cut and can’t understand why some people find it so relaxing.

“I don’t like getting hair down my neck and getting it stuck in my collar where it irritates my skin for the rest of the day.

“If I can’t go straight home from the barber and jump under the shower, I don’t get my hair cut. I’ll wait until I can.

“Does this make me unusual?”

Derek has another question about hair. His father was born bald, stayed that way pretty much until he was about two, then shaved his head when he turned 18.

“He died at 96 and I never saw him with a hair on his head.  I wonder how many other people only experienced hair on their head for 16 years of their life?”

•••

Do you have any stories to share with YourLifeChoices? Do you know any interesting characters? Do you have a milestone birthday or anniversary coming up? We’d like to hear from you. Email [email protected] or leave your comments on this article.

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Jaffa tales and segregated movies
‘Dead people’s teeth!’

Written by Perko

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