10 ultimate dad jokes

A dad joke is a subtle thing; half humour, half completely missing the point. The main requirement of a dad joke is not necessarily that it elicits laughter, but rather that it makes those subjected to it roll their eyes with good-humoured exasperation. Here are the 10 best dad jokes we could find.

1. Me: Can I watch the TV, Dad?
 Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

2. What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

3. Whenever the cashier at the supermarket asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag, he replies, “No, just leave it in the bottle.”

4. Me: Dad, can you make me a sandwich?
Dad: Poof, you’re a sandwich!

5. Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – it’s pasteurised before you even see it.

6. What do you call an Argentinian man with a rubber toe? Roberto.

7. What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

8. Last Christmas, when we bought our Christmas tree, the guy who sold it to us asked my dad, “Are you going to put it up yourself?” “Don’t be disgusting,” replied Dad. “I’m going to put it in the living room.”

9. When the phone rings at home, Dad always yells out, “If it’s for me, don’t answer it!”

10. Last night at dinner, a pea fell off Dad’s plate and he said, “Oh dear, I’ve peed on the table again!”

Got a favourite dad joke? Share it here.

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