Friday Funnies: CEO’s big tip

A man stands on the floor of a factory, not doing any work. The CEO comes up and asks his monthly salary. The man tells him it is $1000. The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1000 and says, “Here’s your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back”.

The man leaves.

The CEO asks the other workers, “Who was that guy?”

They tell him he was the pizza delivery man.

•••

A newly married couple goes to the county fair. The husband spots a stall offering helicopter rides and really wants to go. His wife looks at him and says, “It’s too expensive, 50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

They go every year to the fair and every year the husband wants to take a helicopter ride, but his wife continually says, “50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

After 20 years of turning up to the fair the helicopter pilot overhears the couple’s conversation, and offers to give them a ride for free, on one condition. The husband can’t make a sound during the ride.

During the ride, the pilot really showcases his skills, performing daring manoeuvres that make the stomach turn. After the ride is over, he tells the man about his surprise that he didn’t make a sound during the flight. He has other riders who can’t stop screaming during the ride when he performs those daring stunts.

The husband tells him he almost made a sound when his wife fell out, but “50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

•••

A girl brings her new fiancée home to meet her parents. Understandably, her father would like to know the boy better and so he takes him to his study for a private conversation.

Dad: “So, John. What do you do for a living?”

Fiancée: “I’m an artist.”

D: “So you’re doing well?”

F: “I paint, and God provides me with all I need to live.”

The dad is a bit confused.

D: “And what will you do when you marry my daughter? Will your art provide for the two of you?”

F: “I will paint, and God will provide for us.”

D: “And when you have kids?”

F: “I will paint, and God will provide for my family.”

The dad nods and walks out of the study. Outside, his daughter is anxiously waiting for him.

Daughter: “So, daddy? What did you think of him? He’s great, isn’t he?”

“Well, sweetie,” says the father, “I don’t like his job choice. But, on the other hand, I LOVE what he calls me!”

Related articles:
Friday Funnies: Brave and fierce
Friday Funnies: A real education
Friday Funnies: Value for money

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