Jesus is playing a round of golf with Moses in Heaven and they come upon a water trap.
Jesus turns to Moses and asks, “Didn’t you do something with water once?” and Moses says yeah, and proceeds to do the trick where he parts the waters.
Jesus is impressed, and Moses in turn asks, “Didn’t you also do something with water?”
Jesus says, “Yeah watch this” and proceeds to step out onto the water, but he sinks almost immediately to his knees. He gets out, gets a running start, and tries again, this time sinking to his waist. He comes out confused and embarrassed, and Moses asks, “What was it you were trying to do?”
“I used to be able to walk on water,” Jesus replies.
“The last time you tried it, did you have those holes in your feet?” Moses asks.
A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday. After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly coloured one.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the coloured eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
Jesus walks up to a crowd of people getting ready to stone a lady to death for committing adultery and says, “Whoever is without sin may cast the first stone”.
So this little lady walks up with a big rock and smashes it down on the poor woman.
Then the little lady dusts off her hands and starts walking away. Jesus shakes his head and says, “Mom, sometimes you really get on my nerves”.