A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop and turn to the crowd. Then he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So, he went: step, step, roar, step, step, roar, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and he was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the ring bear.”
The secret service doesn’t yell ‘get down!’ when the President is in danger anymore. Instead they yell ‘Donald, duck!’
A Mexican magician announces to the audience that he will disappear on the count of three.
He says ‘uno, dos …’
* POOF *… He had disappeared without a tres!