Fun, frivolity and the footy season

Double for the fans
Jack, a Collingwood fan, looks through some old junk and discovers a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears. The genie grants him three wishes on the basis that everything he wishes for, Collingwood fans would get double the amount. 

Jack accepts the condition. His first wish is for $1,000,000.  He gets it and, in return, Magpie fans worldwide receive $2,000,000 each. 

His second wish is for a Ferrari, and lo and behold, Magpie fans get two Ferraris each ….

For his last wish, he says: “You know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”

•••

No joking with the Blues
A blind guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a while he starts chatting to the bartender, and says: “I’ve got the funniest joke about Carlton supporters.”

The bartender says: “I’ll stop you there mate, obviously you can’t see, but I’m a semi-pro kick-boxer, just doing bar work until I get a few more wins under my belt; the bloke sitting next to you, he’s a mate of mine from kick-boxing, and the two bouncers by the door, who are within earshot, they are both power-lifters and karate black belts. Now all four of us barrack for the Blues. With that in mind, do you really want to tell your joke?”

The blind guy thinks about it for a second, then says: “No, no way. Not if I’m going to have to explain it four times.” 

•••

A final and a funeral
It’s Grand Final day at the MCG, and a packed house two minutes before kick-off. John notices that there is a guy sitting next to an empty chair.

John leans over and asks: ‘Why is there no one sitting there? What crazy person would miss out on Grand Final day?’

The guy replies: “That’s my wife’s seat. We have been going to Grand Final day every year for the last 20 years. She passed away and I haven’t had the heart to cancel her membership.” 

John replies: “I’m sorry to hear that, but surely you could find a friend who would happily take her seat?”

The guy says: “Nah, no one’s free. They’re all at her funeral.”

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