Has John’s relationship ended?

John’s first foray into online dating seemed to go particularly well, until his amour got cold feet. While she appears to enjoy having John around when it suits her, is she just toying with his affections? Relationship expert Jo Lamble advises John on whether it’s time to put an end to this ‘union’.

Q. John

When I decided to give online dating a go, I didn’t hold out much hope. However, the first lady that I met was fun and engaging and we really hit it off. Everything went well for the first few months and then she called it off quite abruptly. We got back together and then she did the same thing again. We still talk, often at her instigation, but whenever I talk about meeting up and doing something, she becomes a bit vague. How do I know if we’re on or off?

A. This might sound harsh, but I think you might need to cut and run. It sounds like this lady has some commitment issues. She may be afraid of being hurt or of hurting you. Either way, people with commitment issues tend to call it off when relationships get closer. As soon as there is some space between you, she will remember how lovely you are and re-contact you. But the better things are between you, the more likely her fear will kick in and she will end it once again.

If you want to give it one more shot, then I’d try to talk to her about her behaviour pattern. Ask her if she is feeling uncomfortable with how well you get on. Ask her if this has happened to her before. If she opens up and explains why she’s so hot and cold, then she might be able to change her behaviour. But if she disagrees with any suggestion that there is an issue, I’m afraid you will remain confused and continue being hurt by her.

Read more from Jo Lamble at Jolamble.com

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Five ways to keep the love alive
Should I have an affair?

Written by Jo Lamble

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