A policeman pulled a car over near the border of South Australia and Victoria. When the highway patrolman asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Adelaide to do a show. He didn’t want to be late.
The highway patrolman told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. He told the highway patrolman he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle.
The highway patrolman said he had some flares in the boot of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the highway patrolman got five flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken bloke got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The highway patrolman observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, “You might as well take me to jail, cause there’s no way I can pass that test.”
The frog and Miss Whack
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”
The bank manager looks back at her and says “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man’s a Rolling Stone.”