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Friday Funnies: Three quick jokes to lift your day

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When it comes to jokes, three are better than one. In today’s Friday Funnies, we meet a boss who’s a little too honest, an interviewee who knows all the answers and a father who’s reunited with his long-lost son.

1. Boss shares an honest moment with employee
My boss pulled up to work in a fantastic red Mustang convertible this morning and I complimented her on it.

She stepped out of the car and as she passed by, put her hand on my shoulder and replied, “Well Jack, if you just work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year.”

2. How to impress during an interview
Interviewer: “So, it says here you are extremely quick at maths.”

Interviewee: “That’s right. I am.”

Interviewer: “Okay, what’s 14 x 27?”

Interviewee: “49.”

Interviewer: “That’s not even close!”

Interviewee: “Yeah, but it was fast, right?”

3. Old guy forgets his name at the pearly gates
An old gentleman is standing at the gates of Heaven trying to remember his name so St Peter can look it up in the Big Book. Peter isn’t sure what to do, so he asks Jesus for help.

Jesus says to the man, “Tell us about your life, maybe that will jog your memory.”

The old man says, “Well, I had one child, a son.”

Jesus smiles, “Oh, I was an only child. Go on.”

“I was … some kind of woodworker – a carpenter, perhaps,” says the man.

Jesus says, “Huh, another coincidence. Can you remember anything else?”

The old man shakes his head and says, “You might not believe it but my son came to life by a miracle!”

Jesus’s jaw drops, he smiles and tears come to his eyes. “Father?” he asks.

The old man’s eyes open wide, “Pinocchio?”

Related articles:
Your five favourite Friday Funnies of 2016
‘Oldtimers’ gets the best of us all
Cracking Christmas jokes

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