GriefLine seminar: Living a man’s life in today’s world

GriefLine is presenting a seminar that examines the life of today’s man in retirement.

GriefLine seminar: Living a man’s life in today’s world

GriefLine is holding an education seminar Living a Man’s Life in Today’s World, which examines the changing role of men in the context in which we live – the changing world of relationships, retirement and general wellbeing.

The seminar will feature John Besley from the University of the Third Age, who’ll discuss life in retirement; Martin McDaniel from Black Dog Institute, who’ll discuss how to cope with depression; and President of the Melbourne Men’s Group, David Mallard, who’ll talk about how to enrich the lives of men through relationships, personal growth and wellbeing in retirement.

[Media Release]

How to be a better kind of man
Big boys do cry and those who don’t should be encouraged to, according to David Mallard, President of Melbourne Men’s Group.

Sadly, however, most men are raised within the confines of an emotional straitjacket and see sharing emotions as a sign of masculine failure.

Mr Mallard is also speaking at GriefLine’s Education Seminar: Living a Man’s Life in Today’s World, which will examine the changing role of men in the context in which we live, the changing role of relationships, retirement and general wellbeing.

Mr Mallard believes that Australia, as a society, is paying for this straitjacketing today, with more dysfunctional men unable to display real emotions nor support other men to talk about real issues.

“Society has changed a lot in recent years and many men are confused about their role in society. What it means to be a man and masculinity is no longer simple,” said Mr Mallard. “There is no doubt that the ‘job description’ for being a man has changed. Men tend to be judged on the job they do, the car they drive and the sporting team they follow, which does nothing to help a man talk about being an individual with hopes, dreams and feelings.”

He will tell the workshop how men can build trust, step over the line, and open up to a better kind of manhood.

Retirement: plan to make it work
The reality of retirement may not be all that it is cracked up to be, suggests teacher-turned-counsellor, John Besley.

Mr Besley, who has now experienced 20 years of retirement, is one of three speakers at GriefLine’s seminar. He will discuss the myths and pre-conceptions around retirement, drawing on his own experience.

“All of us look forward to retirement and expect a life of leisure and pleasure. The reality for most of us is much different,” he said.

Mr Besley suggests that part of the reason behind his up-and-down experience of retirement is that he had been defined by his job of 40 years, a teacher at Melbourne Grammar.

“My job gave me status, activity, meaning and enjoyment, but when it ended I had not properly prepared for a new life, a fall in income,” he said.

Rather than mope, Mr Besley slowly built a new life, becoming involved with the University of the Third Age as a tutor and on the management committee, where he served for seven years as President. More recently, Mr Besley has become both a registered counsellor and a GriefLine counsellor.

His advice to men nearing retirement is to consciously plan and start some activities before it happens.

“Many men have no retirement plan. Some might think playing golf three or four times a week is a good idea, but they can end up finding golf boring and are just waiting to die,” Mr Besley added. “As a counsellor, I’ve seen the loss and grief suffered when people retire. It’s one of life’s major events and you need to be ready for it.

“Health and fitness can’t be underestimated. Keep fit, do anything. I used to coach students swimming and now I swim for fun. I’ve also picked up yoga and other activities.”

About GriefLine
GriefLine is Australia's only dedicated grief helpline service that provides counselling support services to individuals and families free of charge. These include: telephone support; online counselling; in-house one-on-one counselling; education and training, and health support programs. Callers have the opportunity to share their stories anonymously and confidentially with someone who will listen.

Event details: Living a Man’s Life in Today’s World

Date: Thursday 4 August 2016
Time: 4pm to 8pm
Venue: GriefLine Community & Family Services, Level 1, 479 Warrigal Road, Moorabbin
Cost: general public: $55, volunteers and students: $30, GriefLine volunteers: $20. Refreshments provided.
Registration: email tanian@griefline.org.au
Enquiries: (03) 9935 7444





    COMMENTS

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    Not Senile Yet!
    29th Jul 2016
    10:22am
    Yep....just what every guy needs to attend before or after Retirement.
    We all knock off work early and can get to Moorabin by 400pm....No Worries....lol
    But if ur Retired....getting there won'the be an issue..but $55 might be!
    Should be 530 to 930pm and $20 for Pensioners and $30 for Public......Surely other Ponsors could be found to subsidise costs!
    Don' see a big turname up.....but then a bloke is never right these days! Lol....
    Nan Norma
    29th Jul 2016
    10:42am
    Makes me think of a story about a group of ladies playing cards. "How are you getting now Joe has retired?" asked Ethel "Well" said Mary "First day I went shopping and when I got home Joe had rearranged my whole kitchen cupboard"
    "OH my goodness. So what did you do?"
    "Well the next time Joe went out I rearranged all his tools in the garage" smiled Mary
    Dubbles
    29th Jul 2016
    10:44am
    Smells like a money maker or even a scam at those prices and inconvenience. We could watch a lecture on the internet but their hands wouldn't reach our pockets :) Really, when does YLC's draw a line between common sense and paid advertising?
    old fart
    29th Jul 2016
    10:56am
    I agree Dubbles
    It's more of "Good Grief" considering the cost
    Why isn't it free ( for Card holders) & don't worry about providing refrehments
    Supernan
    29th Jul 2016
    11:09am
    At 74, my husband has no problems deciding what to do in retirement. He kept a few Client so does a little outside work. As we worked together for year, housework was always shared. He likes grocery shopping - meets lots of his old clients, likes getting bargains & I find it tiring. He likes mowing - good thing as we have acreage - self propelled mower makes it easier. Doesnt want a ride on. With my Rheumatoid there are always days when I cant move, so he has always happily stepped up to manage the house when I cant, hangs the wash etc. We love to garden, love renovating when I'm able. he loves Solitaire on the computer, we try to walk around the acreage every day. We both have medical issues, so specialist, blood tests, GP, Chemist. Who has time to get bored or attend seminars !
    Travellersjoy
    29th Jul 2016
    11:27am
    I think it is a great mistake to keep promoting the idea that men can't show their emotions. There are millions of dead, tormented and damaged women and children to prove plenty of men show their feelings far too freely.

    Men do not give each other permission to show vulnerability. A very different thing. Even some women will look down on a man showing vulnerable. An attack and kill mentality is easily set off among the stalwarts of hard masculinity.

    While only women and girls only are allowed to be vulnerable, they easily become victims of men who have never learned to manage their emotions in a civilised way.

    Men need early lessons in emotional literacy, self management, and realistic self assessment, so they become capable partners in life and love.

    What women need is a whole other issue, so forget the blame shifting and what aboutery.
    bohanka
    29th Jul 2016
    11:42am
    I have worked my entire life and the thought of retirement doesn't scare me one little bit! When the time comes (it's just around the corner!) I'll be able to do all those things I couldn't do when I was working. I don't need a lecture from anyone to tell me how to spend my retirement. I will garden, take up fly-fishing, go boating, go for drives in the country, go for picnics, keep chickens, paint, write, cook, do woodworking, play computer games, listen to classical music, go for walks, go swimming, go to the theatre, join community groups, get in to DIY and spend more time with my wonderful wife.

    Retirement - bring it on! There won't be enough hours in the day as far as I'm concerned!
    keno49
    29th Jul 2016
    12:01pm
    dohanka
    My thoughts exactly. Just retried after 50 yrs as a carpenter and now
    we are having our retirement house built in lakes entrance.
    (As we call it paradise). Yes same as you bohanka NO time for these sewage lectures to much other constructive projects to do. LOVE this retirement.At long last about to start all the things I could not whilst working.
    Old Geezer
    29th Jul 2016
    1:22pm
    Since I retired I have always wondered where I got the time to go to work.
    Wychewoman
    29th Jul 2016
    2:06pm
    GriefLine is a fabulous organization doing wonderful work on the smell of an oily rag. Besides a phone line for people to ring in, they also run a fantastic program for children. Money charged for the Mens talk would be to cover the cost of the speakers - VERY FEW people speak for free these days.
    Young Simmo
    30th Jul 2016
    12:05pm
    For me retirement is a full time job, and there is no time left to do anything else.
    Apart from keep the computer alive and, stock up the beer fridge.


    And empty the beer fridge of course.
    Mez
    30th Jul 2016
    8:12pm
    Sorry but it not only applies to men but ALSO WOMEN who have worked all their lives as well as rearing kids!
    These are women like myself who have not sat on any fat arses watching the idiot box all day.
    Richard
    1st Aug 2016
    8:00pm
    And U3A, and writing my life story and writing short stroies and writing about my great uncle and doing the Times crossword and teaching other people how to do the Times crossword and walking the dog and doing the cooking for two of us and appreciating the fact that my lovely wife does the laundry and spending money after our kitchen flooded and.....and........and. Life's too short to fit much more in but Ill give it a shot


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