How to tackle the touchy subject of dying

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Passing away, end of life, passing on, eternal rest – these are all commonly used terms for death – a touchy subject for some, but one that we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about.

Talking about death is not morbid and it’s not weird – in fact, it can actually be quite cathartic. Knowing that you have eased the burden on your loved ones by acknowledging your own mortality can clear the air and enable you to talk about what’s really important – how much you love them.

Too often we’re paralysed by the fear of emotion that death often brings and we miss the opportunity to share our secrets, memories, hopes and wishes with those closest to us. Death also forces us to reflect on our lives, the things we’re maybe not so proud of or any ensuing family disputes that may arise as a result. And then there’s the issue of finances – it can be embarrassing to let people know how much or how little money you’re leaving behind

While it shouldn’t be seen as the time to unburden your conscience, it is the time to give comfort to those who will grieve for you when you die, or to the person you’re about to lose.

Being able to talk about death helps everyone to be better prepared for when the time comes. It gives you the chance to share any arrangements you would like made for your funeral or celebration of your life, share the intricacies of your will and how you would like to be remembered – a seat by your favourite lake, a particular headstone or perhaps a more unusual memorial.

And it’s worth remembering that death can often happen when we least expect it – not everyone gets the chance for a deathbed confession. While the topic can be confronting, and you should be prepared for avoidance and maybe even anger, not saying anything can do much more harm than voicing our thoughts and concerns.

If you are thinking about having these conversations or have already had them, it may make sense to speak to a White Lady funeral director either for advice or to take the next step and start planning a funeral. By arranging your own prepaid funeral with White Lady Funerals, you can help alleviate some of the stress your family will be feeling during an already difficult period. If you would like to speak to a White Lady Prepaid Consultant, fill in this form to request a call, or you can ring them on 1300 656 550.

If you are interested in finding out more about memorials and why they are important, you can find a host of information at

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Written by Debbie McTaggart


Total Comments: 4
  1. 0

    TALK, it’s later than you think!

  2. 0

    I think it is enormously sad that modern societies & its entrapments instil a fear of death rather promoting attitudes which makes us become comfortable with this event.
    There is nothing more certain than death – or should this take 2nd place after taxes?

    In Ancient societies such concepts were totally different and the “Culmination of one’s Life” was not feared but celebrated and – to a certain extend” cherished.
    Our “Wake” stems from these ancient customs.

    The again: “There is much more Power in Fear than Comfort” I suppose for our CONTROLLERS!

    • 0

      Everything in life depends on how you view it, a self-made interpretation. You are “controlled” by others as much as you permit them to control you. “Today we are one step closer to the clutches of the Grim Reaper!” True, right? Yes, but not scary! If it IS scary it is because YOU let it be. YOU are in control (or should be!), NOT someone else – unless you are a sheep by nature.

  3. 0

    Having had to face death of 3 loved ones — I note that there are some people that avoid even speaking about death and even stop calling on or speaking to the person and their carers because they are unable to handle the fact that a person they are close to is dying, THAT sometimes hurts the person that is dying — also sometimes even annoys them to think that people can be so much in La La land that they will NEVER even want to approach the subject, we ALL will die so face the facts and be able to talk to those about it, IF they so wish to do so, do NOT be one that avoids the inevitable, don’t be one that makes SMALL talk and openly avoids it.

    Sometimes the person that is dying NEEDS to be able to speak freely about their approaching death and be comfortable doing so.



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