How to (finally and actually) be happy
We’re all in search of happiness. But where will we find it? Is it in finding meaning through our work or career, securing a nice home for our family or dedicating our time to enjoying ourselves?
Late last year I experienced a difficult time in life. I went in search of something that would bring me some peace. Historically a bit of a cynic, turning to meditation and Buddhism was a long-shot for me. But at that point in my life, I was willing to try anything.
Gen Kelsang Dornying is a sparky, contemporary Buddhist monk and teacher at the Kadampa Meditation Centre Melbourne. I did a day course with him and it literally changed my entire outlook on life. For the better.
Recently in this Time Out article, he said:
“We say in Buddhism that all the happiness there is in this world arises from wishing others to be happy, and all the suffering there is arises from wishing ourselves to be happy”, Gen Dornying says. “But if we try to love others and act to benefit them a confident happy self will emerge automatically.”
On seeking happiness, he has these simple tips:
“Take a few minutes to close your eyes and reflect on all the people in the world who have the same problems as you, but perhaps to a greater degree. As soon as you do, you’ll feel better – the hard edges of suffering will be reduced.”
“Try to empathise with people. If you’re sitting on the train, all of those people on the train have people that love them, worries, fears, suffering, trauma and people that miss them. Take a few seconds to tune into that and think, ‘I care about you’. Inwardly, just say the word in your heart. Don’t say it out loud because you’ll look like a nutter.”
What do you think about this attitude to happiness?
This from a poster in my lecture theatre Thea - it could work for anyone -
Banjo...I never take any notice of negative people...so it goes without saying whatever robiconda says is of no interest to me....but thank you my friend! If she has a problem with the quote... which wasn't meant for her anyway...she should take her angst to the writer Vivian Greene who made it quite famous. I was taught at an early age to "dance in the rain"....I taught my children to "dance in the rain". They are all very successful people...and now our grandchildren dance in the rain!!
Dancing in the rain means that one should take challenges head on. It means... don't just simply wait for the bad things in your life to go away... instead...have a positive attitiude and make the best out of it... and be proud of yourself for doing so.
The philosophy behind this quote is about living our lives... not simply waiting around for good times to start. Too many people wait for the right moment before starting to live their lives..but that’s just too much wasted time. What gets done while you wait? All you become is a burden to those around you...
This quote means that life is about learning to dance in the rain. It’s about learning to live with... and even enjoy the inevitable storms of life. Sing or dance... enjoy your life...no matter what the weather might be...because as any sensible person knows..storms do not last forever!!
We all will face storms in our lives....but at the end of the day.. it is up to us to determine how we will respond to these disruptions. Will we hide inside..whinge and sit on our self-pity pot waiting for it to pass... or... will we continue with our lives... enjoying even the roughest of weather? It is our choice.
During the holocaust...the Jewish survivors weathered the storm by singing and dancing and telling stories...they were survivors in every sense of the word.
Yes...it is better to "learn to dance in the rain" than to sit and whinge and whine about one's sorry lot in life...
It's never too late to learn how to dance in the rain!!!
Must say, if I ever see another 'aspirational, motivational, inspirational, etc.' slogan
RUINING a perfectly good photo of the natural environment or a nice background ... on FACEBOOK ...
think I'm going to
THROW up.
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Suffering from PISS OFF with your platitudinal, copy'n'paste, SHARE now well-wishing, easy-peasy-pass-on, empty feel-good, actually-it's-me-in-tiny-pseudo-pain-this-very-second-in-time-just-sharing CRAP.
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:) Rant over e.g. Just a few to get them out of my system!!!!!
Here's a lovely Perth beach to cheer you up RnR...I have coffee here pretty often...
I have just had the happiest of weekends. I stayed with my son and his partner who I love dearly and always thoroughly enjoy their company and we all went to the Broadbeach blues festival which was fantastic. The last act was Eric Burden which lifted me to the highest extreme of happiness. So it was a weekend of love, music, dancing and meeting with lots of equally happy, lovely strangers. And all free to boot.....sure beats the overpriced Byron Bay Blues Festival.
I don't strive for happiness Amelia. I experience it as an emotional state of being along with sadness and all of my other emotions. Best to just flow with the lot I reckon as they come and go. I don't think it's wise or even possible to talk ourselves out of anything we are feeling in order to experience only good feelings. Every emotion we have is experienced for good reason so acknowledging the emotion and attempting to understand it if it is difficult or confusing (pain, anger, unhappiness etc) is one of the most self caring things we can do. People get into strife when they judge their emotions rather than accept and learn from them.