Another joke.

Sorry I couldn't find Abe's joke topic but wanted to add another one .

Three old grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old granpa walked by. One of the old grandmas yelled out, "Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!"The old man said,"There is no way in the world you can guess my age". One of the grandmas said "Sure we can, just drop your pants and undershorts and we can tell your exact age". Embarrassed and anxious they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers and undies. The grandmas first told him to turn around a couple of times and then jump up and down several times. He did it and they all called out in unison, "You're 87 years old". Standing with his pants around his ankles the old gent asked, "How in the world did you guess my age"? Slapping their knees and high-fiving, the old ladies said in unison......."We were at your Birthday Party yesterday".



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Love it Hola.

Good one Hola LOL.

ha ha HOLA,,    good one,   shouldnt laugh,   we might be like that one day,  lol,  

My mate lives on an acreage property and used to hook his wheelie bin on the towbar to take down the drive to the road.One day on the way down he remembered he needed milk, forgetting the wheelie bin, off he went to the local store, up a big hill. He got to the shop and discovered to his horror the bin still hooked on. Then he tried to fit it in his car because he was frightened to tow it  all the way back. It wouldn't fit in. I asked what he ended up doing then. He said "I left it outside the store, then rang the council to report it stolen and asked for another one" True story.

another true story.. Neighbour across the paddock came to tell my father the cows were out further down the road. All hands on deck at midnight ( no moon) from both ours and the neighbours to collect escapee cows.  FInally putting them in the top paddock where there was some light from the house.  My father looked at them and said "there not ours".  Found the owner the next day..

another true story.. Neighbour across the paddock came to tell my father the cows were out further down the road. All hands on deck at midnight ( no moon) from both ours and the neighbours to collect escapee cows.  FInally putting them in the top paddock where there was some light from the house.  My father looked at them and said "there not ours".  Found the owner the next day..

A little old lady...  

...was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them.. Thanks for telling me officer."

Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?'

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

But wait, there's more.........

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

Yikes!! LOL.

Image result for lady using hedge clipper cartoon   LOL  ...nothing like female gardeners

Good one toot2000 made me laugh.

Hahaha...haven't laughed so much in ages!

My contribution? Not a joke but I think it's funny:

Grandson was looking at my world globe and I pointed to NZ. "That's where I come from" I told him. Grandson gave me an exasperated look and said: "No you didn't, Gran.  It's too small. You wouldn't fit. Don't tell fibs!"

I admit I have gained a little weight lately but...

3 Greeks & 3 Turks…

3 Greeks and 3 Turks are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the 3 Turks each buy tickets and watch as the 3 Greeks buy only a single ticket. “How are 3 people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one Turk. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers one Greek.

They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Greeks don’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed Turk. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Greek. When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3 Greeks cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Greeks leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

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