A political solution
A politician visited a remote rural town asked the locals what the government could do for them.
“We have two big needs,” said the residents, “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
The pollie whipped out his mobile phone, spoke for a while and then said, “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”
“There's no mobile reception anywhere in town.”
Two Aussies are drinking together. One says, “When I die, will you promise to pour a beer on my grave?” The other replies, “No worries mate, but I’ll have to pass it through my kidneys first.”
You know you’re a hipster bogan when your coffee machine costs more than your washing machine.
Two politicians go out to lunch together. In the middle of lunch one of them jumps up and says, "Bugger. I forgot to lock the office safe before we left." The other politician replies "No worries. We're both here."
What are the only two seasons a bogan can name?Football and cricket.
An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day. First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.". The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."