Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time...”sitting on the front porch smoking a good cigar and sipping a great single malt isn't a good thing?" I asked.  

She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellas. So, I did and when I got home, decided to play a prank on her.

I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.

She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 72-years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"

I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.

Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?!  This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"

The line went dead.

Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.

Good ones thanks --

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The urine sample

One time I got sick and landed in hospital.

There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy.

Every time she came in, she would talk

to me like I was a little child.

She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,

“And how are we doing this morning?”

Or

“Are we ready for a bath?” or

“Are we hungry?”

I had had enough of this particular nurse.

One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice

off the tray and put it in my bedside stand.

Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing.

So you know where the juice went!

The nurse came in a while later, picked up the

urine sample bottle, looked at it and said,

“My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”

At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand,

popped off the top, and gulped it down, saying,

“Well, I'll run it through again.

Maybe I can filter it better this time!”

The nurse fainted... I just smiled.

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!

Politicians can be compared to a bunch of bananas –

They come in green –
turn yellow and
not a straight one
in the bunch

Make way for the goats. more than 100 have invaded Boise in Idaho demanding better living conditions. hilarious.!!