Dedicated devout Muslim fully equipped with the latest version of the Koran / prayer mat and tea towel hat  goes to Canada for a holiday.

Mohammad thinks that now he is away from all of the troubles back in his native land he should be able to relax and have a good time.

No land mines, No AK47s, no suicide bombers .

Best of all if he dresses in Western gear he can have a drink and visit a brothel.

He buys a backpack and wanders up into the Rockies for a look see.

The beauty  of it all astounds him after the sparse deserts.

Look he cries Allah created all this. Allah is great.

The lakes , The mountains, The huge trees. Praise be to the Great Allah.

Mohammad stops for a pee against a pine tree and is suddenly aware of warm stinking foul breath on his neck.

He turns around quickly and meets an 8ft Grizzly Bear who lunges at him.

The chase is on but unfortunately for Mohammad the bear has four legs and knows the area and our hero gets cornered in cave.

Shaking with fear he shouts “Allah Allah Allah save me”

God is watching all of this and is quite amused by it all.

The bear moves in closer licking his lips.

Save me he whimpers and God speaks in booming voice.

“Convert to being Christian you heathen wretch and I will save you”.

“No No No there is only one god Allah you can not convert me”cries Mohammad.

Boom goes the voice of God “Watch you terror monger and I will convert the bear to Christianity.

God waves a finger and there is lightning thunder and smoke.

The bear drops to his knees and clasps his great paws together ( with the 15cm sharp claws).

“God I am only a bear and thou art great and for this meal I am about to receive I am very thankful”.

Amen.