The Meeting Place

This feature has been deactivated for your account....Private Messages

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When I try to send send a Private Message to another member 

I get a message that says "This feature has been deactivated for your account."

Does this apply to all members or just a select few ??

Most social media websites have the opportunity to send a Private Message to another member.

Can you send a Private Message on this forum ?

Would you like to send a Private Message on this forum ?



My personal opinion is “private messaging” is not a necessity on most forums and many of them are doing away with this facility. Members should be encouraged to use the open resources on a forum…private messaging defeats this purpose. Members should be contributing to the forum proper since the whole idea is to “share” information, isn’t it? Having everything public encourages a sense of community spirit which is ruined if people communicated privately. Surely the idea is to promote community discussions not displace them with PMs?

Then there is the unpleasant side to private messaging:

PMs allow members to bully more easily without letting other users notice.

It allows members to gossip about other users and prompt them on how to reply to someone’s post..usually in a detrimental way.

Private messaging increases the amount of spam and wasted server space.

NO, I would not like to send a PM. I have a few friends on this forum and we communicate privately by personal email.

Works for us!

Sophie can I ask how you got the email addresses for these friends on this forum ??

Was it by PM by any chance ??

No Suze..definitely not by PM. ABE, Bijou and I have been friends since Uni days in London. Two other male members contacted ABE and that started the ball rolling. For privacy reasons, I cannot go into detail.

If you desperately wish to get in touch with a member why don’t you ask Admin to pass a message on? If the person wants contact, they will reply. Trouble is with that, YLC could be inundated with similar requests. If they don't mind then it doesn't matter :)

Once, (via PM) I was badgered by a woman on this forum for my email address..I finally gave in and allowed her a Google email address. That was a mistake, she emailed me at least 7 to 8 times a day. Finally, I had to block her. Then there were others who had nothing better to do than make disparaging comments about other forum members. Who needs it? If you can’t say it on the forum..then you shouldn’t be saying it at all, in my opinion!

Thank you for answering Suze's question Sophie, I was wondering the same thing.

You make a good point ...  "If you can’t say it on the forum..then you shouldn’t be saying it at all, in my opinion!"

A friend has a similar opinion about Facebook.  She says "The only privacy issue you need to remember about Facebook is that if it's private don't put it on Facebook."

I agree with both of you. :)  

When people make disparaging comments about others, especially behind their back, it says more about the person making the comments than the person they are discussing, in my opinion.


I've never got spam or diparaging comments in PMS ???

Could it be something that you wrote on the forum that upset some people?

Nor have I had any spam in the now defunct PM system, but you knew that of course, you read my post!

Everything I write on the forum could be potentially “upsetting to some people.” Tough! If you can’t handle it don’t read it. That said, I have never had any “disparaging comments” via PM, but you knew that because you read my post! I don’t think anyone would dare.. unless they like hearing a barrage of home truths about themselves, including you!

Sorry about the delay in replying Suze, only just heard you were trying to contact me dear!

Unfortunatelly some people take offence at other's over their political viewpoint or religious viewpoint

As you say it s very easy to offend somebody.



Am quietly wondering why folks aren't getting through, I’ve been sending PMs all day to my friends

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Yeah and I'm getting most of them by the looks of it. Don't think I'm going to reply to this

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Okay Reag, twenty messages in one day???? You asked for it.


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Sorry guys don’t get mad. Just wanted to see if the PM thingy is working, it is, so I’ll leave you alone

Adventuretime Hug GIF - Adventuretime Hug Finn GIFs

Okay, okay, you're forgiven

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            Image result for smiley turd hug gif

If you want anyone to give you a hug, you'll have to clean yourself up first LOLOLOL

And I thought you were my New Best Friend   Image result for smiley sad face images

...must be all those PMs you sent me


Yes I wouldn’t mind having the PM facility back.   From time to time found it useful just to check in with different people every now and then.  

Also not sure laying down dictates like 

‘Members should be contributing to the forum proper since the whole idea is to “share” information isn’t it?’ are all that useful in creating a ‘community’ anything really?

But actually thought the community aspect of the forum may have been enhanced by people being able to get to know each other a bit better through a PM type facility.  

And a few times I was contacted via PM by a couple of members who had never contributed publicly as far as I could tell, with them sharing thoughts and ideas on a forum issue under discussion.

But NO CHANCE of the PM facility function ever being reinstated - think I’ve finally caught on to how this forum operates.

I certainly hope that the PM system does get reinstated.

Quote:  “And a few times I was contacted via PM by a couple of members who had never contributed publicly as far as I could tell, with them sharing thoughts and ideas on a forum issue under discussion.”

That makes absolutely no sense. If someone has “thoughts and ideas” about an “issue under discussion”, then they should be sharing that on the forum not in a PM, for goodness sake! If everyone did that, what would be the point of having a forum??

I have never sent a PM whilst on this forum, but I have received a few from spammers which I found very confronting. Seeing the spam on the forum itself is one thing but having it in your face via a PM is another. Doesn’t bother me whether there is a PM function or not.

I think the PM facility was gone before I joined this forum.  I can't remember ever seeing it.  Personally I don't particularly miss it but I am a bit sorry it has gone tbh.

I have made a couple of really good friends from another forum where our first contact was through pm's.  One in particular lives nearby and we are now friends 'in real life', going to the movies, out to lunch etc on a regular basis.  Like Sophie I also communicate with others from that forum via personal emails, but our first contact was also via pm's. They live further away, but I have met most of them IRL too when our paths cross for whatever reason.  We also ring one another on occasion too.

I would be hesitant to share my personal email publicly on the forum, and would never, ever, share my phone number, but a PM would give me, and other 'new' members at least the opportunity to decide whether or not we want to share our personal details.  Without it, we really don't have that option.

i wish they would put them back,   they were handy if you wanted to get a quick message to someone,   i miss them,  

I liked it too Cats - we did have a good time with it on occasions. Lucky I did get a couple of members email adresses so at least we can keep in touch. 

Can remember emailing Drew when the facility was first withdrawn. From what I recall, his reply said PMs had to be deactivated due to repeated spam/hack attacks, or simliar.

That sounds about right RnR.  Your post reminded me of something I had completely forgotten.  The PM facility must have been here when I joined last year.  I remember getting a message about a PM with a sender name of one of those people who were flooding the forum with junk posts every weekend.  I went looking for the PM facility, hadn't been aware of it before that, but I couldn't find it.  It must have been around then it was deactivated.



Click on "My Profile " at the right hand top of page

Scroll down and you will find 

"Your Member Conversations"

Yeah, thanks Suze, I figured that might have been it, but there has never been anything to click to open it for me.  Well, not since I found it anyway.  It might well have been open when I first joined but I had never had a reason to look for it until a notification arrived in my email inbox that there was a PM.  By the time I went looking for it, it was gone, along with that weekend's spammers lol.   Good riddance to them.  Fingers crossed they never come back.  Admin seems to have it under control now. :)

Leonie I reported 2 spams last week that were placed on the Forum

and as said never received any spam in my PM facility ??

Nor has Sophie, but as usual you twist people's words, this is what Sophie said in her post above.

"Then there were others who had nothing better to do than make disparaging comments about other forum members" (Sophie)

Is the forum too quiet for you suze, itching for a return of class of 2013??? A return to the twisting eh?

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avatarOne week ago

"Private messaging increases the amount of spam and wasted server space."

Abe I think you must have misunderstood my response to Leonie