Why it is important to talk about this final taboo

A new report released by the NSW Council on the Ageing (COTA) reveals that many older people find there is still a taboo around end-of-life planning, and struggle to talk to their families about their wishes.

“Most of our respondents agreed that as a community we don’t discuss death and dying enough,” said COTA NSW chief executive Meagan Lawson.

“Many people don’t even understand the types of legal documents that can be used. This makes planning of care and medical intervention much more difficult and may prevent the dying person from expressing their final wishes.”

The report is based on a survey of 6043 older Australians. Most respondents had a will, although 18 per cent said theirs was not current. However, the use of Enduring Guardianship and Advance Care Directives was low, particularly in the 50-69 age group.

The consequences of not putting these legal arrangements in place can be significant. Without them, it is much more likely that the older person’s wishes for the last stage of their life will not be realised. This causes distress for the dying person as well as increased stress for their families.

The report also looks at whether respondents were confident to talk about palliative care and end of life issues (just over half said they were) and what were people’s main wishes for the last stage of their life (to be free from pain and surrounded by loved ones).

It makes five recommendations to the NSW government. These include: expanding peer-led legal education programs; funding community education on palliative care and end-of-life issues; developing education of health professionals on these issues; promoting access to bereavement counselling; and developing strategies to increase death literacy in the community.

You can read the full report here.

 

6 comments

I have made up my will recently with Enduring Guardianship. My sons know exctly what my wishes are and I don't see any problems ahead.  My dear husband was placed in Palliative care because nursing him at home was just too distressing for him as he needed constant care, and as the Nurse said, "He will get 24 hours of attention and you could only give him 12 hours", which was too exhausting for me, I could see myself going down hill as well.                   

Please have a look at what I wrote in response to Roots.

It really is important to know that without the Advance Care Directive, medics can overrule your family's wishes. 

I can't see the point of having a DO NOT RESUSCITATE document drawn up after reading this.   

 

… at a point of my life where, due to illness, I could die anytime, anywhere. I do not want to get resuscitated and plan to put a DNR order in place. My question is, how would anyone know about this order if they find me laying somewhere? how would the ambulance know? would they not start resuscitation before trying to find out who I am and if I may have such an order in place?

The way I understand it, a married couple knows what their partner wants and if the husband or wife are left alone, the children (knowing their wishes) will inform the medical staff accordingly.  So very important to tell your kids 'Don't you dare bring me back.'  lol

What do you think?

Not what I think, but what I know for a fact is that unless you have the latest Advance Care Directive in place your family's wishes on your behalf can be overruled by medics because their job is to save lives.

Please note that if you have such a document in place, if it was made some years back you need to check it's validity.  Only the latest one cannot be overruled by anyone at all.

Of course I  understand that unless you carry it on you at all times, your wishes may not be immediately attended to.

 

Your children mightn't be standing by when the ambulance picks you up after say a road accident. And I'm not sure they would (or should) stop resuscitation attempts on the word of a bystander.

If the hospital has a copy of your advance directives / resuscitation order, that might help after the ambulance delivers you to their care. 

In my case I now have a copy filed with my doctor as well as the hospital. When my husband was dying after a heart attack I was able to tell the doctors what his wishes were, but it meant little to them because he hadn't signed and filed the paperwork with them. 

 

  "My question is, how would anyone know about this order if they find me laying somewhere? how would the ambulance know? would they not start resuscitation before trying to find out who I am and if I may have such an order in place?" (toot)

 

It is the job of paramedics to resusitate anyone regardless of what document is in place. They have a few minutes to save a life and have no time or authority to abide by anyone's wishes. If they do they can face criminal charges.

Maybe b4 we got out anywhere we should right 

D N R   over our chest

Just received an Enduring Power of Attorney and wills document to sign for my son and DIL after her cancer diagnosis. Will sign it willingly ... anything to make it easier to deal with estate planning is good IMO. Went through similar with my late husband ... much easier when "things are in place" from my experience.

Makes no difference in some situations ... have "been there/done that too" ... but makes things a little easier in the aftermath IMO.

I have done all this. Starting with my will, about 40 years ago, when our children came along. Wrote a new one about 20 years ago, when single. Then updated everything in the past few years, including "Living Will," an Advance Care Directive. Copies lodged with GP, local hospitals and health authorities. Gave copies to the children and let them know exactly my wishes, so they'll know and also know where to locate my written wishes. I have volunteered in hospitals as a pastoral carer, so have had some experience there. Also, my father had all these prepared. I, next of kin, had a copy of his will. However I was surprised to find that he also had the Advance Care Directive. It was very helpful at the end of his life. I don't know who suggested it to him, maybe his excellent solicitor when he did his will. 

 

Thanks for your input rtrish, if it was helpful with your dad, it might be worth considering, there's a form at the end you can fill out online.

Making an Advance Care Directive

https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/patients/acp/Publications/acd-form-info-book.pdf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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