While we all like to think we’re a dream to sit next to when it comes to travelling, the reality isn’t always as sweet.
As someone who spent more time on planes in 2017 than months there are in the year, I feel somewhat equipped to address this minefield. So how will you fare?
1. Do you have pointy elbow syndrome and hog the armrests?
2. Do you have strong opinions regarding the position of the window shade that you inflict on your neighbours?
3. Do you book the aisle seat then fall into an unwakeable slumber?
4. Do you take up more overhead locker space than necessary because you don’t want to put anything under the seat in front of you.
If you answered yes to two or more of these I’m afraid you really need to sort your spatial behaviours on planes. They are not your armrests! Try to think of the others in your row before jamming all your worldly belongings in the overhead locker and adjust the window shade based on whether others are asleep / awake and the time of the day, rather than your individual desires. If you have a child please do not allow them to play with the window shade. This is not a game of daytime / night time!
1. Do you wear deodorant?
2. Do you travel with said deodorant and a toothbrush and use them?
3. Do you keep your shoes and socks on during the flight?
4. Do you cover your mouth if you sneeze / cough?
5. If you feel flatulence coming on will you head to the bathroom to spare your fellow passengers?
If you answered no to two or more of the above then you are not a good plane pal. It’s bad enough being stuck in close confines with other humans for hours on end let alone ones who have BO, bad breath, smelly feet or are dropping silent but deadly farts. As the saying goes, treat others as you would like to be treated.
1. Do you have a baby or small child? Are they loud?
2. Have you brought along your own food? Is it smelly? Or worse delicious?
3. Are you travelling in a group? Are you part of a hen’s or buck’s party?
4. Are you talking on your phone just before take-off / as soon as you land? Do you have a loud voice and think you are important?
None of the above are signs of being a desirable passenger to travel near. While the baby / small child isn’t entirely your fault if you’re not even trying to settle them and they are out of control you lose even more points.
BYO food is fine so long as it’s so odour free other passengers barely notice it. No one wants to smell your stinky food or worse salivate over something they can’t access themselves. Bucks and hens should be banned from ever boarding planes or at the very least drinking before / on them. Also, no one cares about your phone calls on planes, if you were that important you’d be on a private jet!
What’s the worst behaviour you’ve witnessed or dealt with on a plane?