28 signs that went wrong

1. At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”

2. In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”

3. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. – Sisters of Mercy”

4. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: “38 years on the same spot.”

5. In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”

6. In a Florida maternity ward: “No children allowed.”

7. In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”

8. In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”

9. In a New York medical building: “Mental Health Prevention Center”

10. On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”

11. On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”

12. At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”

13. On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”

14. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”

15. In a funeral parlor: “Ask about our layaway plan.”

16. In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

17. In a Tacoma men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”

18. On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament – Ears pierced”

19. Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”

20. In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”

21. In a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.”

22. On a radiator repair garage: “Best place to take a leak.”

23. In the vestry of a New England church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”

24. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”

25. On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.”

26. On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.”

27. On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”

28. Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”