We all know a Limerick or two, and you can count on at least one being a tad bawdy.
But where did the Limerick come from? While everyone agrees they are named after the city, no-one is quite sure why.
Anyway, they are a particularly English form of ‘poetry’ that has been around for centuries, and we’ve picked some of the best (that can be published).
•••
There was a young lady named Alice
Who was known to have peed in a chalice.
‘Twas the common belief
It was done for relief,
And not out of protestant malice.
•••
A crafty young bard named McMahon
Whose poetry never would scan
Once said, with a pause,
“It’s probably because
I’m always trying to cram as many additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”
•••
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
•••
There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all
And now he’s a college professor.
•••
What happens when you retire?
You really don’t have to inquire –
No job and no phone
There’s no place but home,
And your chequebook’s about to expire!
•••
I once had a gerbil named Bobby,
Who had an unusual hobby.
He chewed on a cord,
and now – oh my lord,
now all that’s left is a blobby.
•••
One Saturday morning at three
A cheesemonger’s shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
•••
A forgetful old gasman named Dieter,
Who went poking around his gas heater,
Touched a leak with his light;
He blew out of sight –
And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.
•••
The incredible Wizard of Oz
Retired from his business because
Due to up-to-date science
To most of his clients
He wasn’t the Wizard he was.
•••
There once was a girl in the choir
Whose voice rose up hoir and hoir,
Till it reached such a height
It went clear out of seight,
And they found it next day in the spoir.
•••
There once was a farmer from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
But has all the tomatoes he needs.
•••
There once was a girl named Irene
Who lived on distilled kerosene
But she started absorbing
A new hydrocarbon
And since then has never benzene.
•••
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I’ve seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
What’s your favourite Limerick, why not share it in the comments section below?
Also read: Friday Funnies, did you hear the one about?