Friday Funnies: Damage done if you spill the beans

Today’s Friday Funnies is a mixed bag of tech-related gags, though we all know that tech issues are no laughing matter!

•••

The chef of the upscale restaurant I manage collided with a waiter one day and spilled coffee all over our laptop. The liquid poured through the keys and resulted in some dramatic crackling and popping sounds. After sopping up the mess, we gathered around as it was turned back on.

“Please let it work,” pleaded the guilt-ridden waiter.

A waitress replied: “Should be faster than ever. That was a double espresso.”

•••

After an enthusiastic recommendation from my wife, I began listening to the audiobook version of Frank McCourt’s Teacher Man.

“I love it, but his writing style is so disjointed,” I complained. “He refers to characters I don’t know and introduces them a half hour later.”

My wife was as confused as I was, but I soldiered on, disoriented by the jumpy story line. It wasn’t until the end of the book that my dilemma was explained – I had set the iPod to shuffle.

•••

I tried to say “I’m a functional adult”, but my phone changed it to “fictional adult”, and I feel like that’s more accurate.

•••

Autocorrect has become my worst enema.

•••

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.

Q. How does a computer get drunk?
A.
It takes screenshots.

Q. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
A. To get to the other slide.

Q. What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?
A. Dead Siri-ous.

Q: Why did the computer show up at work late?

A: It had a hard drive.

•••

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Also read: Heard of the anti-joke?

Janelle Ward
Janelle Wardhttp://www.yourlifechoices.com.au/author/janellewa
Energetic and skilled editor and writer with expert knowledge of retirement, retirement income, superannuation and retirement planning.
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