Friday Funnies: Short jokes for the shortest month

February flies by fast, just like these short but sharp Friday Funnies.

What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad?
Lettuce alone without dressing.

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How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

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The trick to avoid crying when cutting an onion, is to never form an emotional bond.

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Welcome to the sexual innuendo club.
Thank you all for coming.

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PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.

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How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

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A husband asked his wife if he was the only one she’d ever been with.
She considered this and replied, “Yes. The rest were all sevens or eights.”

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What starts with E, ends with E and only contains one letter?
Envelope.

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Have you ever noticed that your nose runs and your feet smell?

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Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
“Oh sheet!”

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Two men broke into a chemist and stole all the Viagra.
The police report read, “Be on alert for two hardened criminals.”

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At the bank the other day, I asked the banker to check my balance.
She pushed me.

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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
It’s pointless.

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They say that make-up sex is the best.
Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

Do you have a favourite short joke? Share it in the comments section below.

Read: Friday Funnies – smart gags

Liv Gardiner
Liv Gardiner
Writer and editor with interests in travel, lifestyle, health, wellbeing, astrology and the enivornment.

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