Friday Funnies: Movie theatres

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Breaking news, a movie theatre was robbed of almost $10,000.
The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of Maltesers and a hotdog.

•••

A man sits down in a movie theatre and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog and it’s sitting in the seat next to him.
He thinks it’s unusual, but he likes dogs so he decides that as long as it’s not a distraction he won’t mention it.
The movie starts and pretty soon there’s a funny part. The dog makes some low woofing noises that sound like laughter. A little while later there’s a sad part in film and the dog appears to be weeping. This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is astounded.
When the lights finally come on he taps the dog’s owner on the shoulder and says, “I gotta say, and I know it sounds weird, but it seemed like your dog really enjoyed this movie.”
The dog owner looks at the dog and nods. “I know, it really is weird,” he says, “because he absolutely hated the book.”

•••

My grandpa warned people that the Titanic would sink. He yelled it at the top of his lungs, but everyone ignored him.
Eventually they grew sick of it and threw him out of the movie theatre.

•••

As a man walked into the movie theatre, he was stopped by a security guard.
“I’m sorry sir,” said the security guard, “I’ll need to check your bag.”
Nervously, the man opens his bag.
The security guard looks inside and is shocked, “What’s that?!”
“What’s what?” asks the man nervously.
“There, between the bag of cocaine and the nunchucks.”
“Oh, a bag of chips,” replies the man.
“Well, I’m sorry sir but you aren’t allowed to bring food into the movie theatre.”

•••

A movie is being shown at the theatre. A girl is returning to her seat and taps the shoulder of a man sitting at the end of a row.
“Excuse me,” she says, “did I step on your toe on the way to the bathroom?”
“As a matter of fact, you did, “replied the man, expecting an apology.
“Oh good,” says the girl, “then this is my row.”

•••

Why do actors hate thieves at the theatre?
They always steal the spotlight.

Did we forget any funny movie theatre jokes? If so, share them in the comment section below.

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Written by livga

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