Friday Funnies: Naughty jokes

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If you consider yourself easily shocked by naughty content, these adult jokes may not be the Friday Funnies for you!


What is six inches long, two inches wide and makes everyone excited?
A $100 note.


How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
It’s not hard.


How did you quit smoking?
I decided I could only smoke after sex.


Having sex in an elevator is wrong – on so many levels.


What do you call the useless piece of skin on the penis?
A man.


What should you do if your wife starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.


What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? I’m the one she’s going to eat!


What did the man say when he was caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
It’s not what it looks like!


What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.


A worm crawled out of a pile of spaghetti and said, “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”


What did one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support soon, people will think we’re nuts!


Which funny adult jokes did we forget? Share your favourites in the comment section below.

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Written by livga

2 Comments

Total Comments: 2
  1. 0
    0

    Very funny mostly, a couple not so good.

  2. 1
    0

    A young couple decided to take their six year old son to the beach for the day. Not just any beach but a nudist beach. So they go down the beach and find a place to sit and the young boy asks “Mummy can I go for a walk along the beach” and Mum says “Yes but don’t go out of my sight”. Little boy wanders off along the beach and comes back several minutes later. “Mummy” he say “some of the ladies have got bigger boobies than you” and Mum says “Yes I know dear but what you should remember is the bigger the boobie the sillier the lady”.

    The little boy is happy with this explanation and asks “Can I go and have a paddle in the water” and Mum says “Yes but don’t go out too far”. So he heads off to the water and comes back several minutes later and states “Mummy some of the men have got bigger things than Daddy” and Mum says “Yes I know dear but what you need to remember is the bigger the mans thing, the dumber he is”.

    The little boy is happy with this explanation and asks “Can I go and have another paddle” and Mum says “ok but don’t be too long we are going to have lunch soon”. So the boy trots off down the beach, but this time he is only gone a couple of minutes and he’s back. He’s in a hurry. He’s running. “Mummy, mummy, Daddy’s talking to the silliest lady on the beach and the longer he talks to her the dumber he gets”.


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