Friday Funnies: Naughty jokes

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If you consider yourself easily shocked by naughty content, these adult jokes may not be the Friday Funnies for you!

What is six inches long, two inches wide and makes everyone excited?
A $100 note.

How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
It’s not hard.

How did you quit smoking?
I decided I could only smoke after sex.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong – on so many levels.

What do you call the useless piece of skin on the penis?
A man.

What should you do if your wife starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? I’m the one she’s going to eat!

What did the man say when he was caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
It’s not what it looks like!

What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.

A worm crawled out of a pile of spaghetti and said, “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!” 

What did one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support soon, people will think we’re nuts!

Which funny adult jokes did we forget? Share your favourites in the comment section below.

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Friday Funnies: Best surfing jokes

Let me take this wave, would you? My girlfriend is watching from the beach.

Friday Funnies: A year of wonders

Contributor Peter Leith shares his favourite memes of 2020.

Friday Funnies: Very superstitious

What would make Friday the 13th even scarier? If it were on a Monday.

Written by Liv Gardiner


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