Friday Funnies: Naughty jokes

Font Size:

If you consider yourself easily shocked by naughty content, these adult jokes may not be the Friday Funnies for you!

What is six inches long, two inches wide and makes everyone excited?
A $100 note.

How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?
It’s not hard.

How did you quit smoking?
I decided I could only smoke after sex.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong – on so many levels.

What do you call the useless piece of skin on the penis?
A man.

What should you do if your wife starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? I’m the one she’s going to eat!

What did the man say when he was caught masturbating to an optical illusion?
It’s not what it looks like!

What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.

A worm crawled out of a pile of spaghetti and said, “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”

What did one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support soon, people will think we’re nuts!

Which funny adult jokes did we forget? Share your favourites in the comment section below.

If you enjoy our content, don’t keep it to yourself. Share our free eNews with your friends and encourage them to sign up.

Join YourLifeChoices today
and get this free eBook!

By joining YourLifeChoices you consent that you have read and agree to our Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Written by livga


Total Comments: 2
  1. 0

    Very funny mostly, a couple not so good.

  2. 1

    A young couple decided to take their six year old son to the beach for the day. Not just any beach but a nudist beach. So they go down the beach and find a place to sit and the young boy asks “Mummy can I go for a walk along the beach” and Mum says “Yes but don’t go out of my sight”. Little boy wanders off along the beach and comes back several minutes later. “Mummy” he say “some of the ladies have got bigger boobies than you” and Mum says “Yes I know dear but what you should remember is the bigger the boobie the sillier the lady”.

    The little boy is happy with this explanation and asks “Can I go and have a paddle in the water” and Mum says “Yes but don’t go out too far”. So he heads off to the water and comes back several minutes later and states “Mummy some of the men have got bigger things than Daddy” and Mum says “Yes I know dear but what you need to remember is the bigger the mans thing, the dumber he is”.

    The little boy is happy with this explanation and asks “Can I go and have another paddle” and Mum says “ok but don’t be too long we are going to have lunch soon”. So the boy trots off down the beach, but this time he is only gone a couple of minutes and he’s back. He’s in a hurry. He’s running. “Mummy, mummy, Daddy’s talking to the silliest lady on the beach and the longer he talks to her the dumber he gets”.



continue reading


The last blockbuster had an end of summer sleepover

Several months ago, the last Blockbuster store on Earth temporarily rebranded - as an extremely nostalgic Airbnb. A few lucky...


Best day trips from Melbourne

We've got more reasons than ever to embrace the adventures we can find in our own backyard and, luckily, Victoria...


Travel SOS: What's the deal with face masks and flying?

Ian has seen reports of people flying without masks and wants to know if it is safe. Q. IanI have...

Mental Health

Frequent travel could make you 7 per cent happier

Every now and then we come across a study that feels as if it's stating the obvious. Such is this...


Travel does at times confront us and make us squirm

Travel does at times confront us and make us squirm, which it should. Travel also can make us appreciate our...


You can now stay in a Buckingham Palace-inspired caravan

Have you ever wondered what Buckingham Palace would look like squeezed into a four-person caravan on the North Yorkshire coast?...


New measures will protect Australians from COVID-19 on all flights

Australia's national cabinet has announced new measures to protect Australians from COVID-19 on domestic and international flights and in airports....


Doctors call for action on social media’s health misinformation

The peak body for Australia's doctors has called on the government to invest in advertising to counter health misinformation being...