Friday Funnies: Short jokes for the shortest month

Font Size:

February flies by too fast, just like these short but sharp jokes.

What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad?
Lettuce alone without dressing.


How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.


The trick to avoid crying when cutting an onion, is to never form an emotional bond.


Welcome to the sexual innuendo club.
Thank you all for coming.


PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.


How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.


A husband asked his wife if he was the only one she’d ever been with.
She considered this and replied, “Yes. The rest were all sevens or eights.”


What starts with E, ends with E and only contains one letter?
Envelope.


Have you ever noticed that your nose runs and your feet smell?


Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.


What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
“Oh sheet!”


Two men broke into a chemist and stole all the Viagra.
The police report read, “Be on alert for two hardened criminals.”


At the bank the other day, I asked the banker to check my balance.
She pushed me.


Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
It’s pointless.


They say that make-up sex is the best.
Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

Did we forget any of your favourite short jokes? Share them in the comment section below.

If you enjoy our content, don’t keep it to yourself. Share our free eNews with your friends and encourage them to sign up.

RELATED LINKS

Friday Funnies: Movie theatres

Why couldn't Bach go to the theatre? Because he was baroque.

Friday Funnies: Very superstitious

What would make Friday the 13th even scarier? If it were on a Monday.

Friday funnies: Five funniest gags

Here are the final five of the funniest jokes of all time, according to joe.ie.

Written by Liv Gardiner



SPONSORED LINKS

Sign-up to the YourLifeChoices Enewsletter

continue reading

COVID-19

Australian doctors call for calm over coronavirus vaccine blood clots

Doctors have demanded the media be much more cautious in the way blood clot cases are reported in people who have...

Technology News

Research shows people trust computers more than humans

Computers continue to defy expectations about their capabilities, and it is happening at a much faster rate than most people...

Relationships

How to handle conversations with a relative expressing racist views

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex's interview with Oprah Winfrey highlighted an issue that many people will relate to -...

Lifestyle

Friday reflection: Why is packaging so difficult?

Is it just me or do others over 50 struggle with opening things? Why is packaging so difficult? It seems...

Finance News

2021's top 100 most reputable brands

Reputation is everything - in business and in life. It's hard won, but easily lost. It can cost politicians their...

Health news

Best treatment for bedtime performance anxiety

Trying to sleep produces a kind of performance anxiety, and the more you worry about it, the worse your sleep...

Finance

Five mistakes to avoid when investing in property

Investing in property can be a complex and overwhelming journey, particularly for first-time investors. If you are thinking about investing...

Competitions

Score a double pass to see Supernova

In two minutes, I was brought to tears. That's about how long the trailer for Supernova lasts. It's the new...

News

Perfect Sticky Toffee Pudding

This is perhaps my favourite cake of all time. It’s moist and slightly chewy, and it tastes like holidays in...

LOADING MORE ARTICLE...