The firstborn’s burden

Sunday columnist Peter Leith has seen a lot of the world, a lot of Australia and a lot of life.  Aged 90, he makes the time to observe the world around him and agitate for change. He also reflects on times gone by.

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Firstborn children have to ‘do-it-the-hard-way’. For starters, they are stuck with under-qualified parents.

Then, if they have a sibling within 12 months, they have to share what they’ve taught their parents with a snivelling little nappy-crapper who distracts parental concentration from the main game – them.

If the arrival of a sibling is delayed for five or more years, the firstborn faces the trauma of sharing his or her hard-won limelight with an interloper, who again benefits from the hard work done in parent education.

If siblings follow at more reasonable two to three-year intervals, there is time for everyone to re-arrange their egos … and their IDs.  

Even in a happy marriage, firstborn children risk the burden of expectation – from both parents – that they will be what their father or mother is not.

I write this in appreciation and gratitude to my two years, one month and six days older brother Jack, who is buried in Mareeba cemetery, in northern Queensland.

Are you a firstborn? Do you recall whether adjusting to the arrival of a sibling was difficult? Do you have an idea or observation for Peter? Send it to [email protected] and put ‘Sunday’ in the subject line and we will forward it to him.

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