Travellers’ rookie error

Graham is a policeman and was talking the other day to a ‘grey nomad’ who was about to embark on his round-Australia trip.

“I’ll never forget,” Graham said, “a couple from Tasmania who were setting out on a similar trip a few years ago.

“They’d bought the new 4WD and a $200,000 caravan. Beautiful thing it was.

“Anyway, they drove off the Spirit of Tasmania and two kilometers up the road they went under the low bridge in Montague Street in South Melbourne.  (It’s notorious for catching out trucks, buses and other assorted vehicles.)

“They didn’t make it. Ripped the top two feet off the caravan.

“They caught the boat back to Tassie the next day. Trip over.”

•••

Michael told us a story from his childhood. He was about 13 when his parents moved from the city to the country to a hobby farm with assorted chooks, pigs and cows.

A bull called Hector was agisted on the farm, but Michael was a city boy and knew little about the habits of a bull.

He wasn’t thinking too much when he and two of his sisters went for a walk through Hector’s paddock.

Hector was chained, but seeing the three kids, and especially the red outfits worn by the girls, he took off after them.

The three kids also took off across the paddock, discarding the thongs on their feet and with Hector hot on their heels.

Hector was closing, but Michael saw a tree and figured it might provide some protection.

“The bull arrived in a cloud of dust and we three started running circles round the tree, the girls screaming, and me likewise, and the bull still chasing.

“Luckily, the chain looped around the tree and locked onto itself, eventually forcing Hector to a standstill and allowing us to make our escape.”

Michael swears this is no bull, but says the girls have never thanked him for getting them to the tree in time.

•••

 

Phillip shared this memory. He was 10 and school had just finished for the day.

His mother was picking him up because it had been raining and they’d arranged to meet in the street outside the back gate.

Phillip saw his mum’s car, ran over, put his schoolbag on the floor, strapped on the seatbelt and leaned over to give his mother a kiss hello.

It wasn’t his mother. Wrong car.

Phillip apologised and got out. His mother’s car was further up the street.

“That happened to me 54 years ago and I’ve never forgotten how embarrassed I felt,” Phillip said.

•••

 

Ian received a letter from the RSPCA telling him that he had a dog in his back yard without shelter and warning him that fines might apply.

Ian thought this most curious, especially given he didn’t have a dog.

“We do have a concrete dog, sitting beside a fountain,” he said.

Ian lives next to a pub, so he’s guessing that somebody left over-refreshed and reported him.

••• 

 

Peter has a dentist. His name is Winston Chew.

And Martin drinks with a chap they call ‘Berg’. “He’s big enough to sink the Titanic.”

••• 

 

Do you have any stories to share with YourLifeChoices? Do you know any interesting characters? Do you have a milestone birthday or anniversary coming up? We’d like to hear from you. Email [email protected]

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Written by Perko

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