Friday Funnies: Horror and humour

Today is Alfred Hitchcock Day, and in celebration we’re sharing our favourite spooky jokes.

If you ever feel lonely, watch a scary movie.
You won’t feel so lonely anymore.

What’s long, hard and scary when you first see it?
Calculus homework.

Read more: Friday funnies go foodie

Three writers, Al, Ben, and Carl, were attending a writing convention and booked a room on the 75th floor of a hotel.

When they arrived back at the hotel from the convention, the receptionist told them, “I’m terribly sorry, but the elevator is broken. In the meantime, you will have to take the stairs.”

Now, Al was a writer of funny stories, Ben was a writer of scary stories, and Carl was a writer of sad stories. The three of them agreed that, to make it less boring, Al would tell the other two his funniest stories while they climbed from floors 1 to 25, Ben would tell his scariest stories from floors 26 to 50, and Carl would tell his saddest stories from floors 51 to 75.

They started to climb the stairs, and Al started to tell funny stories. By the time they reached the 25th floor, Ben and Carl were laughing hysterically.

Then Ben started to tell scary stories. By the time they reached the 50th floor, Al and Carl were hugging each other in fear.

Then Carl started to tell sad stories. “I’ll tell you my saddest story of all first,” he said. “There once was a man named Carl who left his hotel room key in the car …”

Read more: Friday funnies get a little silly

Today, 25 per cent of adults are on medication for mental illness, which is scary … because it means that 75 per cent are running around untreated.

Unlike Stephen King’s stories, there’s nothing scary about his son.
He’s been Joe King since he was born.

Read more: Friday funnies gets a haircut

What’s scary about a white man in prison?
You know he’s actually committed a crime.

Apparently North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

Did we forget any of your favourite scary jokes? Share yours in the comment section below.

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Liv Gardiner
Liv Gardiner
Writer and editor with interests in travel, lifestyle, health, wellbeing, astrology and the enivornment.
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