It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Little Johnny. In this week’s Friday Funnies, Johnny learns about government and God, and finds Jesus in a most unlikely place.
Little Johnny learns a lesson in Government
Little Johnny’s class was learning about the government, so for homework, the teacher told her students to ask their parents about how it works.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he asked his Dad.
His dad thought for a while before answering. ”Look at it this way: I’m the Prime Minister, your mum is the Senate, your nanny is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
”I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.
”Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” his dad said.
”Okay, good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his brother’s cot and found that he had pooed in his nappy. So Little Johnny went to his parents’ room to get help. He looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep and saw his mum loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to nanny’s room. When he looked through that keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his nanny. Little Johnny was surprised, but then had an epiphany. ”Oh, now I understand the government! The Prime Minister is screwing the workforce, the Senate is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of crap!”
Little Johnny and God
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, “bloody this” and “bloody that”.
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says, “You shouldn’t swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us”.
“Is he in the sky?” asks Johnny.
“Yes,” says the priest.
“Is he in that bush over there?” asks Johnny.
“Yes,” says the priest.
“Is he in my wagon?”
“Well,” says Johnny. “Tell him to get out and bloody push!”
Little Johnny finds Jesus
A Catholic school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raises his hand and says, “He’s in Heaven.”
Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He’s in our bathroom!”
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows.
“Well,” Little Johnny says. “Every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells, “Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'”