Friday Funnies: Wisecracks about men and women

woman facing man over table

It’s been a while since we had a good laugh at ourselves. So, in this week’s Friday Funnies, why not have a chuckle at our collection of cracks about men, women and marriage?


A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day.

One day he told her, “You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?”

“What is it, dear?” she asked.

He responded: “I think you bring me bad luck.”


Do I get a little jealous when my single friends come to me with wild stories about exotic nights with strippers? Sure I do. But, at the same time, look at all these model ships I’ve been able to build …


A university maths professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says:

“My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at a motel with my 20-year-old student. Don’t bother waiting up for me.”

He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife:

“You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you’re not giving me. So I am at a hotel with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a maths professor, I’m sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don’t you wait up for me.”


And, we’ll leave you with this thought for the week:

If a man says something in the woods, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?


Do you have any jokes about men and women? Why not share them in the comments section below?

Also read: Friday Funnies flees the yoga studio

Written by Leon Della Bosca

Publisher of YourLifeChoices – Australia's most-trusted and longest-running retirement website. A trusted voice on Australia's retirement landscape, including retirement income and planning, government entitlements, lifestyle and news and information relevant to Australians over 50. Leon has worked in publishing for more than 25 years and is also a travel writer and editor, graphic designer and photographer.

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