Outrageous crimes against food

Food is a hugely personal thing; we all have our own favourite dishes and quirky ways of eating.

While liking the odd weird mash-up is totally fine, there are some things that are just an absolute no-go.

If you’re guilty of any of these crimes against food, don’t be surprised if someone calls the police …

1. Biting a string cheese
This is a sure-fire sign of a serial killer, in our opinion. The clue’s really in the name – you have to pull off the strings; that’s literally the whole point of the snack.

2. Biting into a Kit Kat whole instead of breaking off the fingers
It should be punishable by law.

3. Adding mayonnaise to guacamole
Why would you ruin the ultimate dip with a load of mayo?

4. Frankenfoods
The trend for mashing together two different types of food has just gone too far. No, we don’t need crossushi – a dastardly mix of a croissant and sushi.


5. Slicing bagels like bread
This one particularly riles New Yorkers, the ultimate bagel purists. The argument is, there’s more surface area to slather on cream cheese, but it still looks like insanity.

6. Putting tomato sauce on pasta
No, you really shouldn’t be squirting tomato sauce on a perfectly good bowl of pasta – it’s not a substitute for a sauce. The same goes for rice.

7. Spaghetti in sausages
If hell had a menu, we’re pretty sure it would just feature these oddities. Dry spaghetti is threaded through cut-up sausage rounds, and the whole lot is boiled in a pan together. Most pictures we’ve seen involve no sauce whatsoever – what an incredibly dry meal.

 
 
 

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A post shared by Lunchbox Caterers (@lunchboxcaterersboston) on Jul 29, 2019 at 9:53am PDT


8. Dipping a biscuit in orange juice
Yes, apparently this is a thing and it sounds heinous. What’s wrong with dunking it in milk?

9. Drinking lattes out of avocados
Both lattes and avocados are great separately, so why the need to combine them? It’s all too hipster for words.

 
 
 

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A post shared by Truman Cafe (@trumancafealbertpark) on May 11, 2017 at 2:02pm PDT


10. Anything deconstructed
It’s just getting a bit ridiculous now – we’d really prefer it if everyone went back to serving meals whole.

11. Deep-fried butter
This snack is traditionally served at American fairs and doesn’t remotely hide the fact it’s a heart attack waiting to happen.

 
 
 

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A post shared by Alissa Salvatore (@starvingactressnyc) on Oct 2, 2017 at 7:08am PDT


12. Unseasoned chicken
Plain chicken doesn’t taste good on its own – do us all a favour and add some flavour, please.

Would you try any of these?

– With PA

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