[Claire Halliday]

Four years on from my marriage split, questions around online dating are regularly thrown my way by my well-meaning friends who clearly don’t know me very well at all.
Why aren’t I online looking for love?
Because I don’t want to be there.
I’ve seen it from the sidelines and, amusing as it was, it holds no interest.
Call me old-fashioned but, having come from a generation of young lovers who met in pubs, bars, at gigs, uni lectures, or at the parties of friends, I’m a firm believer in love finding its way into your life if it’s meant to be.
Looking for that love online, like choosing a rescue dog from the animal shelter – with all its positive and negative traits advertised for everyone to see (likes horses, loves running in the park, but sometimes gets overwhelmed by crowds and sudden noises) – doesn’t seem right to me when it comes to humans.
And when you get to a certain age, no matter how big a city you live in, there’s that fear of running into someone you know, reading the things they’ve written about themselves and seeing that uncomfortable photo of their abs reflected in their bathroom mirror. Yes, it happens.
When one of my closest friends hit the online scene and immediately found a suggested match with my ex-husband, it provided us with a solid few minutes of giggles at the things he had chosen to promote about himself, and the photos of him hugging his cat (which seem strangely commonplace in online profiles), but only reinforced my stance. It’s not for me.
Because one day, if I ever go anywhere social again when my teenagers finally fend for themselves and stop taking all my money on their school fees, I still believe in the idea that, if it’s meant to happen, two people can find each other in the real world.
And if not, that’s more than okay too.

Have you found love online?
Or have you had the awkward feeling of running into someone you know online?
How did you deal with it? Swipe left… or right?

[Author]

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