Hotel Jokes

A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.

“Fancy meeting my wife here,” he says to the clerk. “Guess I’ll need a double room for the night.”

Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000. “What’s the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I’ve only been here one night!”

“Yes,” says the clerk, “but your wife has been here for three weeks.”

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Some interesting HOTEL signs:

·tHotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

·tHotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

·tHotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

·tHotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

·tHotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

·tHotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

·tTokyo hotel’s rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

·tOn the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT

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A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals.

“Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 4, and supper from 6 to 10,” explained the clerk.

“Look here,” inquired the farmer in surprise, “when am I going to get time to see the city?”

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