Let’s put it out there – penis size is not that important

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.” So said Mark Twain. Or was it former US President Dwight Eisenhower? That’s not important right now, and neither is the size of a man’s penis – now, or at any time, it seems. Penis size, according to most research, is simply not the issue many men seem to think it is.

The topic of penis size is more often than not the subject of light-hearted banter. However, learning that size doesn’t matter in the downstairs department could have serious – positive – ramifications for many men.

For many men, that banter masks a genuine feeling of inadequacy. That, in turn, can lead to a loss of self-esteem and result in serious mental health issues. In some cases, those men will take drastic steps, such as penile enlargement surgery, to deal with the issue.

This is not just the domain of younger men, either. Many men who are ‘re-entering the market’ after a long-term relationship has ended, worry whether they’ve ‘still got it’. The truth is, there are many things other than penis size they should focus on, in terms of pleasing partners.

The myth of penis size

The underlying cause of anxiety around penis size in us men is two-pronged. (That’s right, fellow men, the cause of anxiety about our single ‘prong’ is two-pronged.)

First, there’s the perception that women are seeking a larger penis in a man. And that’s a perfectly understandable perception. If you think about other ‘lesser’ species in the animal kingdom, there are examples of size mattering.

Taking your dog out for a walk can provide an example of that. I have seen many dogs covet a larger stick over a smaller one. (And ‘stick’ is not a euphemism here; I’m referring to actual sticks found in the park.

And regular watchers of David Attenborough documentaries will know that in some animals, size can aid the courting process. There are three points to make about this. First, in most animal cases it’s not the penis size that’s impressing prospective partners. It’s the size of the plumage, or the antlers. Or something else. In some cases it’s more about colour, or shape.

Second, in the case of humans, at what part of the courting ritual does a male reveal his penis size? That’s right, never. (Well almost never. It probably has happened.) A man might conjure up images of a hens’ night in which women will marvel at a man’s penis size. But is that how the prospective bride chose her life partner? Hardly likely.

Third, if a man has attracted a partner to the point of taking them to bed, has he done so by displaying – or even mentioning – his penis size? Of course not.

Which brings us indirectly to our second prong: men’s perception – and depiction – of penis size. It probably won’t surprise most men to learn that many men exaggerate their own size. It’s all a bit of one-upmanship to make themselves feel more adequate.

What’s really important?

If you’ve progressed a relationship to the point where it becomes sexual (one-night stands notwithstanding), chances are you’ll be on pretty good speaking terms. That means you should be able to discuss what gives each of you pleasure in the bedroom department. And you’ll likely find that your penis size won’t ‘come up’ in the discussion.

Before that moment, most women are attracted by other elements – many of them not physical. Touch, smell and weight will play a part, but so too will the ability to engage, chat and be funny.

Perhaps the easiest way to remind yourself is to think of another popular proverb of unknown origin. It’s “The pen is mightier than the sword.” It’s definitely NOT, “The penis: mightier than the words.”

Have you felt a sense of insecurity about your penis size? Is it a subject you would ever broach with friends? Let us know via the comments section below.

Also read: ‘Sexercises’: Exercises to improve your sex life

Disclaimer: This article contains general information about health issues and is not advice. For health advice, consult your medical practitioner.

Andrew Gigacz
Andrew Gigaczhttps://www.patreon.com/AndrewGigacz
Andrew has developed knowledge of the retirement landscape, including retirement income and government entitlements, as well as issues affecting older Australians moving into or living in retirement. He's an accomplished writer with a passion for health and human stories.


  1. Those who DO talk about penis size invariably have common features:
    1) they are so far up themselves that they naturally exaggerate;
    2) they are less likely to understand and value the real issues in a relationship.
    Mind you, more than a few will play the banter game, but, usually never with any direct reference to their own features and only ever in the interests of humour and bravado.
    Social media, on the other hand, is obsessed with such matters of size, both in the male and the female realm.

  2. Sorry guys but speaking as a woman in her prime, (once married and later a happy divorcee), believe me, size does matter. Physically, tiny just doesn’t do the job. Dogs collecting big sticks are far removed from a male with a penis the size of a Texta!

    • I think that the article is saying that “average” is ok, rather than “tiny”. It’s interesting though that there are plenty of examples of women learning to live with “tiny” if the fella’s bank balance is extra-large.

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