How and why to use sex toys in your 50s and beyond

Whenever you hear people talking about sex toys, or even sex in general, it’s usually clear that they only associate these conversations with younger individuals – and we can’t blame them when society positions such conversations that way.

Going by that train of thought, why would older people need sex toys? After all, the older you get, the more you lose your sex drive, right?


It might shock you to learn that sex can get better with age. The only problem is that, more often than not, there’s little representation of older people in intimate contexts.

First of all, we acknowledge and apologise for the existing bias; second, we’re here to rectify those prejudices.

In addition to explaining how to use sex toys in your later years, we’ll also highlight:

  • the benefits of these intimate devices
  • offer guidance on identifying safe materials
  • provide tips on how to use them for maximum pleasure.

Spicing up the silver years: Five tips for using sex toys

1. Sensual delights: how to choose your must-have toys

As you step into your 50s, you’re entering what some might call a reawakening, where your body decides to play a few tricks on you. Hormones can go wild and you might notice some changes in your sexual desire and response.

The good news is, this is the perfect time to unleash your inner temptress and explore what makes your toes curl and your heart race. You could maintain what’s already working or let your curiosity run wild. Consider it a sexy scavenger hunt.

I can’t emphasise this enough: choose sex toys that cater to your evolving needs and unique desires and preferences.

Vibrators, for example, come in various shapes and sizes, allowing you to explore what brings you the most pleasure. Whether you prefer discreet bullet vibrators or the power of a wand massager, these toys can provide intense sensations. Additionally, don’t underestimate the allure of couples’ toys.

2. Sensual symphony: what’s your path to sexual pleasure?

What sensations make your body tingle? 

Whether you’re a newbie to the sex toy world or a seasoned pleasure-seeker, the key is understanding that different sex toys are like musical instruments, each with their unique tune. 

From the G-spot’s sultry serenade to the harmonious hum of clitoral ecstasy, it’s a sensual orchestra waiting to be conducted.

3. Unlocking sensual delights: resources for exploring and purchasing sex toys

First things first, do your homework – research the different types of products and make sure you’re getting a quality, safe product. 

Start with something simple, and if you’re in a relationship, keep those lines of communication wide open. Consent and desire are super important. Just remember, using sex toys is all about amping up your pleasure, so you have to stay comfortable and empowered along the way.

4. Ageless desires: debunking myths and rekindling the flame of passion!

The truth is, turning the pages of sensuality in your 50s isn’t just about fun and games, it’s also about breaking free from outdated myths and stereotypes. If you’re reading this, congratulations for taking the first step towards breaking the bias.

Now we’ve established that pleasure knows no boundaries, embrace and celebrate your sensual self, honour the wisdom and experience, and rediscover the intoxicating joys of intimate exploration, irrespective of the sands of time.

5. Intimate essential: choosing body-safe materials

Selecting the right materials for your intimate treasures is like choosing the perfect outfit for a seductive evening – it sets the stage for a memorable performance.

The best sex toy materials are designed to be gentle, non-toxic and comfortable against your skin, promising an experience that’s as pleasurable as it is safe.

By taking this careful step, you’re not only enhancing your sensual journey but also prioritising your wellbeing in the most intimate of moments. So, whether it’s silicone, glass or other trusted options, make sure your choices whisper ‘sensuality’ and ‘safety’ in the same breath. Avoid potentially harmful materials such as PVC, jelly or rubber.

Once you’ve secured a body-safe companion, explore the finer details such as shape, size, vibration settings, power source and noise levels. I recommend rechargeable options due to their convenience and cost-effectiveness.

Benefits of using sex toys in your 50s

  • Cloud nine level pleasure: sex toys can amplify sensations and touch nerves you never knew existed, leading to more satisfying experiences.
  • Sets the bedroom ablaze: spicing up intimacy revs up the heat in your intimate moments, keeping things fresh.
  • Unearthing sensual secrets: sex toys give you options, putting you in a better place to understand your desires and preferences.
  • Relaxation and stress relief: good sex is like a mini-vacation for your mind and body, where every moan is a mile of relaxation, and the destination is pure stress relief.
  • Better orgasms: as they say, orgasms are like the secret sauce of life – they make everything else taste better, and with sex toys in the mix, trust me when I tell you you are not ready.
  • Ignites a blazing bond with your partner: exploring new things, such as pleasure toys, can deepen your emotional connection and communication with your partner.
  • Improved sexual health: regular sexual activity has a positive effect on physical and emotional wellbeing.
  • Body confidence: feeling confident in your ability to provide pleasure boosts self-esteem.
  • Empowerment: embracing sex toys empowers you to take control of your sexual satisfaction and wellbeing, even when you don’t have a sexual partner.

Tips on how to use sex toys for maximum pleasure

  • Effective communication: open and honest conversations with your partner about desires, boundaries and fantasies create an atmosphere of trust and exploration.
  • Discovering your desires: take time to understand what arouses you. Your preferences may have evolved, so embrace the opportunity to explore new sensations.
  • Selecting the right accessories: choosing the right accessories that align with your desires and comfort level is crucial. It should be a tool that enhances your experience and brings joy.
  • Prioritising comfort: comfort is essential for a satisfying experience. Ensure you have the necessary items, such as lubricants, to enhance comfort during intimate moments.
  • Embracing relaxation: the key to enhanced satisfaction is relaxation. Allow yourself to let go of any worries or stress and savour the moment fully.

The upshot

In the beautiful symphony of life, your 50s are the crescendo of experience, where desires harmonise with wisdom. 

Exploring tools such as sex toys during this time is not only liberating but also a celebration of self-discovery. It’s a journey where pleasure knows no shame, where understanding how your body has evolved and what excites it becomes a cherished pursuit. 

Prioritising safety in your choices, both in materials and health, is paramount for a fulfilling and satisfying chapter. As you navigate this world of passion, remember that age is not a limitation but a testament to the beauty of embracing desire. 

So, let the flames of your sensuality burn brightly, and may your golden years be filled with ecstasy and joy.

Do you agree with the author’s assertions about sex after 50? Do you feel more liberated? Do you have a question for the author? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Also read: Can orgasms extend your life?

Aliyah Moore (she/her) is a certified sex therapist and relationship expert with a PhD in gender and sexuality. She is passionate about educating and empowering women to embrace their sexuality and identity.

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