Ten signs you could be dating an online scammer

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, some people will be checking out dating websites and social media looking for love.

But romance scammers could also be lying in wait to cynically con people into handing over their cash.

Rom-cons can mean big payouts for fraudsters, which is why they may spend weeks – or even months – ‘grooming’ their victim before asking for money.

Once the fraudster believes their victim has developed an emotional attachment, this can be a trigger point for requests for money to be made.

In 2022, there were nearly 3700 reported romance scam cases which cost Australians more than $40 million.

Romance scam on a phone
Fraudsters may start asking for money at the point when they think their victim has become emotionally attached. (Alamy/PA)

David Callington, HSBC UK’s head of fraud says: “Romance scams do not just happen around Valentine’s Day, we see cases of innocent people who are looking for love being scammed all-year round.”

Often, victims lose much more than money, as they believe they are in a committed relationship with the person they are talking to.

In some cases, fraudsters may also persuade people to send explicit images, which they could then use to blackmail the person they have been talking to into handing over money.

'Love scam' on a keyboard
Fraudsters may sometimes encourage people to send explicit images to blackmail them. (Alamy/PA)

Criminals will use fake profiles, with images stolen from elsewhere – so it could be worth doing a reverse image search to check whether a photo actually originates from someone else.

Scammers may even try to misuse celebrities’ profiles to lure people in to ‘catfish’ others into handing over money.

Romance scammers may also make promises that big sums of cash await.

Scam under a magnifying glass
Romance scammers may promise big sums of cash in return for up-front payments. (Alamy/PA)

They may claim they need money up-front in order to release funds, or suggest an “investment opportunity” that their victim should pay into.

Here are some red flag reminders when dating online

1. Rapid emotional attachment

While some scammers may take their time, others may try to progress relationships very quickly online.

2. Avoiding meeting face to face

Scammers often avoid in-person interactions. Be cautious if your online date consistently makes excuses to meet or delays face-to-face encounters.

A woman receiving a call
Scammers may avoid meeting in-person or via video chat. (picture posed by model/Alamy/PA)

3. Asking for money

Scammers may fabricate emergencies or hardships to manipulate your emotions. Do not send money to someone you’ve only met online.

4. Being encouraged to lie to your bank

A scammer will often ask you to lie to your bank to give them a better chance of the payment not causing suspicion. Scammers will often coach their victim in how to respond to questions that may be asked. But telling the truth gives the bank the best chance of protecting your money – and you receiving money back if you do end up being the victim of a scam.

5. Inconsistencies in what you are told

Pay attention to the information shared. Scammers may use different personas across different victims, with conflicting details.

6. Refusal to video chat

If your online connection consistently avoids video interactions, it could be a red flag.

7. High-pressure tactics

Scammers often use urgency or emotional manipulation to pressure victims into quick decisions. Take your time and remain sceptical of requests that seem overly urgent.

A woman looking stressed
Scammers may use high-pressure tactics. (picture posed by model/Dominic Lipinski/PA)

8. Unrealistic photos

Be cautious if the person’s online photos appear overly polished or seem too good to be true. Scammers often use stolen images from other profiles.

9. Being asked for a lot of personal information

It’s natural for people starting a relationship to want to get to know each other better – but scammers will be after your information in addition to your money. Avoid sharing sensitive information, such as your address or financial details, with someone you’ve only met online.

10. Feeling caught up in the romance

Stay vigilant, trust your instincts and verify information to protect yourself from falling victim to romance scams. You could also sound out friends and family members to get a second opinion from people you trust.

Have you ever been approached online by a scammer? What happened? Why not share your experience in the comments section below?

Also read: New scam relies on our lazy online habits

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